~My tH!NgS~

~aidilfitri 2010~

2010-09-13T14:28:00.002+08:00

selamat hari raya..hehe.
aku br smpi ke melaka pg td.terasa cam awal sgt plak dtg sini.bukan leh studi pon.rindu ma ngn abah!!!(br smpi dh rindu..ape daa)

jom cite2 raya..hehe.thn ni along xblk raya.tp abg ngah(husband anim) n anim raya kt umah ktrg.so xdela rs deficient sgt.1st day ktrg msk satay.mlm tu bakar satay ramai2 smbil main bunga api.sooo RAYA!!pagi tu sesi bermaaf2an ngn daddy mummy.sedih rs nk nanges tp thn.maluuu..hehe ptg tu blk kg abah kt bachok.ok ok la.

2nd day..jeng3x.ma n abah plan wat open house.tp it turned out to be xde pon member2 abah dtg.tp member aku yg ditunggu2 kedtgnnye dtgla ngn family die.it went well i suppose..saat tu aku dh dpt rs yg things are going to be diff after this.(mgkn xde sape leh phm cite apekah ini.maybe bila dh confem nnti sy cerita btol2 k)
konklusinye:abah suke.ma suke.saya??ntah..mgkn blom.mgkn dh tp xngaku.ntah.
tp lps je member aku tu blk.berpusu2 sedara dkt n jauh dtg.mmg jd jgk la open house ktrg in d end nye.penat xterkata.tp heppi la.

3rd day raya..stay kt umah je.tp ade la mak sedara rapat sefamily bertandang.so overal raya ke3 pon best jgk.

kesimpulannye..raya thn ni best bangattt..hehe

~sshnye~

2010-09-03T23:46:00.002+08:00

nk dijadikn cerita.duit mara xdpt bulan ni.sbbnye kontrak stated dat smpi bulan 8 je kami ditanggung.so ape lg terpaksa la skali lg mntk duit ayahanda tersayang.dan tanpa berkata ape2 terus abah msg "giv me ur account no and how much".bc msg tu rs terharu,rs bersalah.rs mcm aku la anak yg plg byk pki duit abah.aku hrp sgt cptla aku abes bljr leh keje leh dpt duit sndri leh bls jasa abah.

berkobar2 la pegi jwb exam td.tp mlgnye,ape yg kite rncg tu xselalu kite dpt.soklan mcq td sgtla ssh bg aku.atau mgkn aku blurr sgt smpi otak xbjalan.so conclusion nye i failed to giv my all.berjalan blk ngn penat teramat smbil terfikir "mcm mane nk blk jasa abah gini.."

sedih..sgt..

~wasted~

2010-08-27T17:09:00.002+08:00

selesai dh paper meq 1.siyes sy katakan..xssh pon.siyes skali lg.tp surprisingly aku xleh jwb.bukan main2.tp betol2 punye xleh jwb.rs cam sgt penat.kecewa ngn diri sndri.setelah penat mcm nk mati belajar,blk ngn kecewanye xleh jwb.rs sgt wasted.Ya Allah..besarnye dugaan.

disbbkn bnda tu,smpi skang aku rs penat sgt.smpi xleh nk angkat kaki tgn.loss of drive.hilang smgt terus.tamparan hebat benar rsnye.aduhai adekah lg peluang aku nk lulus ni?tiap kali semayang rs sedih sgt.rs nk nangis je.besarnye kuasa Allah.anytime die leh amik blk ape yg die bg.ya Allah aku syukur ngn ape yg aku dh dpt sblm ni.semoga kau permudahkanla yg kali ni jgk ya Allah.

rs sedih.rs kecewa.rs takut...kena buang jauh2.aku kena pndg ke dpn.dis is not the end.jgn mengalah sblm abes berperang!!amin..berkatilah ya Allah..

~hala tuju hidup~

2010-08-18T01:33:00.002+08:00

dh seminggu ramadhan.agak tenang puasa tahun ni.even dlm kesibukan n kengerian exam.mgkin sbb start puasa kt umah kot.
27 hb ni wud be my fisrt paper for final exam.Ya Allah akhirnye,dh smpi ke hujung pjlnn(insyaAllah).tkt ade.riso tu xyah ckpla.makin baca rs cam makin deficient je memory.mntk2 la recover blk sumenye time exam days nnti.amin.

tetiba aku teringt msg seorg teman 'dh lupa cane rsnye suke seseorg'...is d same thing happening to me skang?agak tepat je rsnye.dh habitual kot.smpi dh desensitized.hurm biarla.abaikan.xpntg pon sume tu.kot.

yg pasti pntgnye skang..aku nye p2s2 ni.moga2 i can go tru dis ngn jayanye.siyes dh penat pki nametag medical student ni.sempena bulan ramadhan yg mulia ni,moga dimakbulkn Allah la doa aku yg SATU ni..amin..

~gambar~

2010-07-18T18:09:00.002+08:00

melihat gambar2 die..hati tersentuh..serius!!
teringt saat2 dulu.bila aku dan die..SATU..
hati aku cakap.."it shud hv been longer.."
hati aku sgt teringt kt die..sgt serius!!

aku sbnrnye xbape btol ni.tensen nk xm..too many things to read.too little time.(konon..)

~kenyang~

2010-07-17T11:45:00.002+08:00

kul 11.30 pg:
aku br blk mcd.g late bfast ngn cnat,iwa dan pakwan.dh lama jgk xmkn mcd.td kak irah msg di pg hari.tanye xnk blk ke..hurm ikutkn nk tiap ms aku nk blk.tp keadaan xngizinkn.sadis sguh.

kul 7 ptg:
br siap mkn kudap-kudapan ptg ngn iwa.keje aku ari ni tgk hindustan tido mkn.bukunye wat peluk tido.gano nih?progress sgt lembap.mlm ni aku nk abeskn ophtal.aim baik punye.so dat lps ni leh start ortho plak.buat jadual angan2 dlm kepala gini rs cam smgt sket nk bc buku.plus td razmi kol.pesan die 1 je..'STUDI!!!'hehe..

~siusly nk blk~

2010-07-15T17:02:00.002+08:00

penatnye ari ni.present td rs cam bodoh gile.exam dh dkt nk mati,otak kosong trang tang tang.cemane aku nih.tetiba rs mcm nk blk umah.dh plan dh nk blk mgu ni tetiba isnin ni ade block test la plak.buatnye xsmpt blk b4 730 pg tak ke naya tu.aduhai.

td ckp ngn ma ngn adik.rs cam rindu sgt kt umah.rupenye sume org tgh tgu aku blk umah.sbb skang musim buah setto(manggis).adik g kutip buah setto utk aku smpi jatuh dlm longkang,luka siku.sadis sguh.tetiba aku lak xjadi blk.fail btol la.tertekannye.aku ni asik tertekan je.lama2 leh gila nih.

aim hujung mgu nih..aku nk bljr btol2.(impian tgi mgunung tuh)xpela sacrifice mgu ni xleh blk.asalkan nnti aku blk ngn senyuman kejayaan..cewahh..(sedapkan hati sndri)

~SUNday~

2010-07-11T22:49:00.003+08:00

ari ni sepatutnnye member aku nk dtg dr kl.tgu punye tgu xsmpi2.rupenye tido sbb tgk world cup smlm.hurm..ingtkn die mmg xkn dtg so aku g la msk nasi ayam.punye la lama.sambil basuh kain.sambil baca buku.akhirnye siapla..

lps tu mkn ngn cnat smbil tgk melodi.tetiba die kol ckp jd nk dtg ngn member2 die skali.
skang ni aku br blk.ktrg g tour keliling melaka.penat xterkata.ktrg g muzium kapal,naik river cruise,last skali g mkn ikan bakar kt umbai.fuhh penutup tu yg masyukk..
skang lenguh sgt kaki.esok ade kls.mmg kena tido skang..malam~~

~mera lunch~

2010-07-10T19:45:00.002+08:00

ini la lunch aku td.xde bnda nk mkn.nk kuar mls.so i goreng maggi saje bersama muffin banana flavour from kenny rogers sbg side dish.
rasanye:boleh la.typical org bujang nyer meal.
time mkn:3 ptg
akibatnye:skang lpr blk..

~he moved on~

2010-07-10T10:51:00.002+08:00

sume org sila tgk facebook die..aku bukan ckp sebarangan.

he moved on..

aku??

still here.loser!!

~exams~

2010-07-10T08:37:00.002+08:00

aku br tersedar..xm dh dkt gile.aku ni x prepare pape pon.rsnye time p2s1 dulu lg awal aku start bc buku.aduhai..i need to do sumtin..i mean NOW!!

nenek aku skt.pttnye aku nk iku anim blk skali ke jengka tp tetiba ma kate 'kak kn nk exam.xyah blk pon xpe la'..lps tu aku terpk,msti ma ingt aku kt melaka studi mcm nk mati kn.tp sbnrnye xpon.argh bersalahnye rs.mulai saat tu aku nekad.aku kena bc buku.

last night is an exception.tp ari ni..no more excuses.bc buku jgk.

~makan~

2010-07-08T21:59:00.003+08:00

skang aku tau perasaan org yg tensen n subsequently mkn byk.dulu slalu pk dh tensen lg la xleh mkn kn.pesal mkn byk plak?hurm rupenye mkn byk tu slh 1 cara nk divertkn ur mind from pk psl bnda yg bothering u..kesimpulannye skang...aku suke mkn!!n i tell u if i keep eating at this pace and this much without fail,i can see d chubby bayani is on her way soon!!!!

ari ni ktrg msk western.sbbnye aku dh bosan mkn nasi.inila dinner ktrg..ade mashed potato,coleslaw,sayur,ayam bbq bersos cendawan..sume bnda ni homemade..terasa sgt best mkn bnda gni kt umah..

~hujan~

2010-07-07T20:23:00.002+08:00

skang musim hujan kt melaka.bumi msti suke ngn turunnye hujan.dh lama panas.leh kate tiap ms org komplen panas sgt dunia.

aku pon suke jgk hujan.tp aku ade mslh sket la klu hujan ni.aku jd sentimental,emotional,and wat not.mula la termenung sana sini.seakan akan nmpk sume bnda yg jd antara aku n die selama ni dalam rintik2 hujan yg turun tu.ish fail la aku nih.xmacho la gini.

ari ni aku sedih.(bukan tiap ms ke aku sedih?huhu)..mksd aku lebih sedih dr hari biase.blk dr kls ptg td,jln sorg2.rs mcm tertekan sgt.tetiba mata berair.dlm hati terpk,sedih benar rupenye aku ni.
teringt blk ape yg die tulis kt fb die.rs cam nk komen kt bwh "sape yg berani ckp cmtu?sy nk g bunuh die"..tp ape plak kate kwn2 die nnti.aku bila dh ikutkn perasaan sume bnda xhengat dh.

xleh nk meluah pnjg2.iwa ajak teman g umah kakak die nk g amik pulut durian.later..

~chest heaviness~

2010-07-06T21:29:00.002+08:00

ade satu cite korea yg aku tgk tu tajuk die cinderella stepsister.dlm cite tu die byk guna pkataan 'chest heaviness'.die akn buat fist and ketuk2 dada(dgn lemah lembut la) smbil ckp argh..im feeling chest heaviness..pkataan tu digunakn bila ade perasaan atau emosi yg xdpt diluahkn n hanye mmpu disimpan dlm hati mbuatkn perasaan tu mcm terpendam n terbekam la(org kelate ckp bekok ati)

aku dh applykn pkataan tu in my day to day basis hee..contohnye spt berikut:

bila die buat aku terasa n aku xleh ckp terasa sbb tkt die kate aku mnja..aku hanye boleh deny yg aku terasa n diam...chest heaviness

bila die mntk maaf n ajak kuar mkn n aku terpaksa tolak sbb nk buktikn kt die yg aku xperlukn die padahal sume tu tipu semata...chest heaviness

bila aku nmpk die online tp die xtegur aku pon..and aku pon xdpt nk tegur die sbb ego aku yg mgunung...chest heaviness

bila die tegur blk n buat mcm xde ape yg jd.rs mcm nk ckp je 'awk xtau ke betapa sy terjejasnye lately sbb awk' but xleh tkeluar lgsg ape yg nk ckp tu.not even close...chest heaviness.

klu ikutkn byk episode chest heaviness yg aku ade tp klu ikut kn hati nk buat fist n ketuk dada..alamatnye nk patah ribs aku kena ketuk tiap kali rs chest heaviness..

~bila cinta..~

2010-07-03T20:01:00.002+08:00

smlm aku g labor room ngn shyde.hrpn mgunung nk g conduct delivery.(bukan deliveries pon..)tp spt biase nasib xmenyebelahi ktrg.labor room agak bising sekitar pukul 11 tp sejam dua slps tu..senyap..kosong..sume kena tolak masuk OT..mcm2 la mslh.prolong labor la..breech la.
dijadikn cerita..ade sorg akak tgh sakit nk bersalin.mengerang die tu xsgup nk dgr.rs mcm ya allah sakitnye die..tetiba husband die dtg.

'abg..sakit bang..'
'abg tau..sabar k..abg ade kt sini..'(sambil mengucup dahi bini die)

seeing dat,tnpa aku sdr..aku dh teary..betapa bahagianye hidup dpt laki cmtu.arghh tidak..aku hampir2 nangis kt situ.
saat tu jgk..aku btol2 teringt kt die..btol2 yakin die boley jd cam husband akak tu.sgt sedih slps itu...waa..

akak tu slmt lahirkn baby laki 3.85kg selepas operate.semoga die n keluarga bahagia smpi bila2..semoga aku ade rezeki utk bahagia cam die..bila cinta..

~milik siapa?~

2010-06-28T13:22:00.002+08:00

aku br prsn kt blog dulu ade post baru..die tulis rupenye.baca ape yg die tulis wat perasaan aku bercampur baur.sedih ade,terkilan ade,but in d end helpless..

there was a point of time in my life once i am damn sure of wat my future wud be or more accurately how i wanted it to be..tp sape boley lwn kuase Tuhan..rancang bagai nk rak akhirnye tewas gak ngn takdir Dia..

tp lps bnda tu,i mcm hati kering..sgt ssh anybody nk touch my heart.sgt ssh utk aku rs ape yg cuba diorg tunjukkn.or mungkin sgt ssh utk aku kembali berhrp sepertimana dulu.smpila another point of time in my life aku xsdr aku dh kembali selesa berbual,berkongsi,bergelak ketawa,menangis ngan another guy.saat aku mula bermimpi dan berangan 'adakah die?' terus ade seakan angin blow away my angan tu..

saat tu..i said to myself..i can never be anybody's..die yg pertama tu..siusly mmg aku selesa bersamanye(since ktrg dh lama gile kot kwn,dh kenal perangai masing2 in and out)..tp sad to say,aku dh xboleh bg die hrpn.aku hanye boey kwn ngn die.tu je.lebih dr tu...ssh bg aku.

die yg kedua tu..bagai mimpi..yg bila aku bgn aku dh xnk mimpi mcm tu lg..

kdg2 b4 tido aku terpk..akan jd milik siapa aku ni ye??
den msti aku tertido sblm aku dpt pilihan jwpnnye..

~tertekan~

2010-06-21T23:46:00.002+08:00

sgt rindu die.sgt mau dgr suara die.kdg2 rs cam suke keta ade mslh.leh jdkn alasan nk ckp ngn die or nasib baik lg leh jmpe die.tp mmg pns xsmpi ke ptg.ingtkn mendung je.siap hujan terus.rs cam nyesal gile msg,mntk tlg n cite mslh kt die.nyesal yg hanye Tuhan yg tau.terasanye hati mcm disiat2..

btol jgk kata die.org pompuan kaum yg lemah.cpt panik.xpikir dulu.tu bukan org pompuan.itu aku.mmg die nk ckp sume tu aku.sedih gile xterkata.org kate sharing can reduce ur stress.tp ni x.sharing is like doubling d stress.

td bengang.skang sedih.
dulu sayang.skang benci.itu yg die nk pon anyway.nk aku benci die.Tuhan maha kaya,aku benci die hari ni.mgkin lg sng aku lupakan die.

aku akn tunjukkn.aku kuat.aku xcpt panik.aku boleh pikir dulu..dan aku xperlukan die..
sgt mau 'hujan' skang..

~Tuhanku..~

2010-06-13T12:23:00.002+08:00

bahagianye aku..
Tuhan je yg tau..
smpai bila bahagia..Tuhan je yg tau..

bukan hari ni..tp mungkin esok..atau lusa..
hanye Tuhan je yg tau..

ya Allah..semoga bahagia ni..milik aku..

~wat a day..huh~

2010-06-05T23:59:00.003+08:00

penatnye..sakit kepala..
aku br blk dr jusco kul 11 td ngn c'ah.mlm2 pon leh g jusco.bila dh pegi sana phm2 la musti la purse yg xbape penuh pon leh jd kosong sekelip mata.seat blkg keta pon dipenuhi ngn handbag,kasut utk kak irah and baju utk adik.hehe beli utk org len xde rs besalah sgt kn.(dh pk nk blk claim ngn abah haha)

blk tu ktrg g mkn kt apple burger(mengimbau kngn mkn sate 1st time kt situ dulu).nk dijadikn cerita ade org before ktrg drop his wallet bwh meja.ktrg dh berdebar xtau nk wat ape.dlm kepala mula pk nk bg kt tuan kedai tkt xdipercayai(since byk gile duit dlm tu),pk nk bg kt polis la,nk tanye kot2 die nginap kt hotel straits meridian tu ke..n d list goes on..

tetiba ade keta camry hitam benti tepi,sorg mamat cina (yg sgt hensem oke!!) kuar dr keta ngn muka tercari2.ktrg bg la kt die wallet tu.tup2 die bg ktrg rm50 letak bwh bekas otak2.(blnja mkn katanye).aku n c'ah ape lg..menjerit la 2 2 org kt situ.."jgn!!xyah la..u drop it under d table n its juz happen dat we saw it.ktrg xwat pape pon"..dok bising2 tu die say tenkiu like hundred times den die blah ngn muke comelnye..lps tu aku tgk c'ah,c'ah tgk aku,sume org sekeliling pndg ktrg..

c'ah kate moralnye..'buat baik dibalas baik'..still xleh terima dpt duit 50 tnpa buat ape2..

~jom dgr cerita xbest~

2010-05-26T11:43:00.002+08:00

awal plak abes kls ari ni.its raining outside n feel so cozy inside.nk tido sbnrnye tp mcm byk sgt yg di pk kn dlm kepala ni.meh bercerita la hihi.

ari sabtu lps aku g wedding shera(bdk mrsm),ngn c'ah,zana n sorg laki yg dikenalkn oleh my mom tu.itu la 1st time ktrg jmpe.dipendekkn cerita it did not turn out to be as smooth as i hope it shud.mgkn sgt byk bezanya kami.bgs jgk ktrg jmpe awal2.so dat xde la dragging sgt pkenalan yg aku mmg xnk start pon.Tuhan tu maha kaya kn.br aku kenal sape die yg sbnrnye.betapa pemikiran die-ceteknye..betapa perangai die-x as a grown up shud be pon..betapa die..bukan utk aku.

smlm aku kuar ngn jero.mkn kt simply fish..again.huhu.best gak.dh lama xlepak sembang2.rs cam stuffy sgt otak.dh direleasekn lps sembang ngn jero.dat is wat frens for kn.ini la gunanye kawan.berkwn la biar seribu,bercinta biar satu.(even xjmpe lg mn la yg satu tu).1 je yg slack bila jmpe jero ni mstila ingt amir blk.hurm..cane nk ckp kt diri sndri yg sume tu is yesterday's news??cam bebal sgt je hati..

ok dh2.skang ni xde ms nk pk psl hati n perasaan ni.sbb xbwk ke mana pon.exam dh sgt la dkt.aku kena studi n get prepared!!ya allah semoga diberkati la pjlnn jihad nih.(bljr tu slh 1 jihad kn)hee...aminn..mari berusaha!!

~if only..~

2010-05-13T23:38:00.003+08:00

if only sume org kt muka bumi ni mcm die.so its gonna be easier for me not to search for him in others.
if only org len tu ade sket je of wat he has,its gonna be easier for me to lie to myself and say yes.
if only org len tu can promise me half of wat u promised me,it wud be much easier for me to tell myself to try to forget u.
if only org len tu leh try to make me laugh n smile juz the way you did,maybe i can stop loving u n wanting u.

if only la kn.org ckp org yg ckp 'if only' ni adlh org yg xbersyukur.btol eh?mungkin jgk.astaghfirullah.syukur dgn ape yg Tuhan dh bg stkt ni.

tp nobody is u.and nobody can be even half like u..nobody.

~defense mechanism~

2010-05-12T14:16:00.002+08:00

ari ni sy nk talk about defense mechanism which is an unconscious psychological strategies brought into play to cope with reality and to maintain self image.in simple words nye..it helps the ego cope with anxiety.everybody has their own types or ways of defense mechanism.

for example:

ade sorg bdk nih kena mrh ngn a total stranger for a reason yg bdk ni pon tgh blurr lg was she deserve to be high-pitched-scolded and banged in front of people mcm tu.so slps meminta maaf(as she realized nothing better she cud do at that particular moment),she mcm ade mask-like facies n walk away.rs cam nk diam all d way n pretend like nothing happen instead of everybody else waiting for her emotion to burst out.
wen she blk rumah,she pray n recite some sentence from Quran,she tido n hoping that it was just a nightmare.dlm hati she said,"jgnla i grow up to be a like-her-doctor"

p/s:really wish u are here..

~mengenali seorg bernama lelaki~

2010-05-06T23:12:00.003+08:00

menulis sekadar berkongsi.

bebrapa hari lps,mula la bermsg ngn seorg laki yg disuruh berkawan ngn aku oleh maknye.mntk perhatian..org yg suruh berkawan adlh maknye,bukan mak aku jauh skali aku sndri.maka cerita bermula.tgkla gmbr die kt fb,agak boley thn(kata ati aku).meh tgk hatinye sama cam rupenye x.

die mula tanye aku org jenis cemane.jwbla.pastu ditanye ramai kwn laki x?slalu kuar ngn kwn laki g tgk wyg x?ade bf x?kapel bape lama?nape putus?
sbnrnye agak tkejut ngn msg2 tu di hari pertama bermsg.terasa tersgt gopoh.mcm interview pon ade.
tp jujur punye psl,jwb sume bnda tnpe selindung.

slps tu..die senyap..terus..

rs cam nk ckp kt ma.anak ustaz mn la nk pndg anak ma yg perangai ntah hape2 neh.

p/s:hatinye x serupa rupenye.sekian.

~mimpi ke??~

2010-05-01T00:42:00.002+08:00

aduhai.mimpi ke nih??too real to be a dream.it was too real that i can still feel it.lg ssh la nk melupakan klu gini.huh.pdn muka.aku jgk yg mntk.bila dh dpt speechless plak.bukan stkt xterkata,nk pengsan pon ade td.hurm..tp jalan blk ngn senyum.shud i say thanx to him??err x kot.huhu..

ckp ngn ma td pon rs cam mimpi.cuma beza die d latter dream is a bad one.like a nightmare.tp xyah la aku nk pk pape.bnda ntah ke mane2 still hanging in d air lg.klu Tuhan dh tetapkn bnda tu yg terbaik maka die akn jd jgk.go wif d flow la.penat rsnye melawan arus nih.sbb in d end aku sungkur jgk.penat xberbaloi.

so biarla.either mimpi 1 or 2 yg bakal jd future,aku terima sumenye.moga ini yg terbaik.utk sume org.

~penipuan~

2010-04-24T00:27:00.005+08:00

rs cam idup dlm penipuan plak.hati sakit gile tp mulut ckp 'saye ok'.td jmpe die.ntah la bila nk stop jmpe die.bila die dh kawen kot.stkt skang mcm xlogik je.tp ktrg kuar as fren je.xwat pape pon(mcm la sblm ni penah wat pape).
erm rs cam die dh byk berubah.or die dh jd mcm die yg dulu blk.bgs ke??ntah.got no say.tp tiap kali jmpe die n sembang ngn die rs tenang kejap.especially ari ni,rs cam hepi sgt.4 hari xjmpe rs cam lama gile.ya allah hai..ape yg jd ni??cemane nk lupakan die cmni?jauh dr logik.
esok die nk blk kg.moga2 selamat jalannye.n juga jln hidupnye.

sy teringt sgt kt die.sbb tu sy nk g amik die kt klia ari tu.n sbb tu sy kuar jmpe die td.if anything ever hapen to me.just want u to know..i really **** u.really do.

~weekend lg~

2010-04-16T18:28:00.002+08:00

dulu weekend la yg plg ditunggu.skang weekend terasa lg worse kot.kebosanan memuncak.nk spend utk studi mmg xlogik la kn.bila byk free time,lg byk otak pikir,lg devastating consequence die,lg lmbt recovery die,lg lama la aku sengsara gini.
dh tu xkn nk mntk weekend jgn dtg kot.pahtu aku plak complain bizi sgt penat.ish manusia ni xpenah syukur ngn ape yg Tuhan bagi.astaghfirulloh..

atas request seorg 'teman' yg suh aku tulis bnda2 hepi je kt sini,mulai skang sume bnda kt blog ni berkisarkn kebahagiaan..hihi...

to start with..pg td aku g jasin.bas patutnye kul 730 tp 730 br aku bgn(dh semayang subuh 630,tido blk).pastu aku suh la nurul ckp kt pakcik bas tgu kjp.tetiba nurul ckp pakcik xnk tgu n dh gerak.kalut la aku.lps tu nurul ckp shyde n farah(yg suppose to pegi bersama) pon xde dlm bas.aku suh la farah turun g tanye pakcik bas xde bas lain ke ke jasin.farah kol ckp bas xgerak pon lg.so apekah mksd sume nih??
NURUL SALAH NAIK BAS!!!!hahahaha(sori ye nurul sbb gelak,tp sgtla lwk)

erm session pg td sgt best.we hv to clerk d cases and write it down in d case sheet and prescribe medication.sume kena buat sndri.prof choo juz run tru and btolkn where ever ktrg slh.wow got d feelings of being a real doctor ngeh3x.

ptg td pon best jgk kls ngn yashodara.bljr baca ecg.insyaallah lps ni klu tgk ecg patient xdela mcm tgk cakar ayam kn.

sbnrnye nk g tgk muvi ngn shyde mlm ni.tp xde cite best plak.plan canceled.td nurul ajak swiming tp xsure pool kolej dh bley pakai ke blom.so activity of d nite--->still pending.

p/s:jaga diri..hv fun..lupakan sume yg xbest.(i'll try to do d same)

~pergilah air mata~

2010-04-12T21:06:00.002+08:00

mcm sedey gile tajuk.aku yg tulis n baca ni lg la sedey.sbnrnye tu tajuk buku cite yg kak aima suh aku beli.nnti nk g cari la.

kalau la sesenang tu nk suh air mata tu pegi kn bgs.dh lama dh aku buat.merayu2 kt air mata tu klu boley.sbbnye hanye Tuhan je tau betapa penat nye aku lyn air mata tu tiap2 malam.klu stkt tiap mlm oke lg.tiap2 tgk nama die pon air mata kuar nk tgk jgk.tiap kali ingt psl die pon air mata kuar nk tlg ingt jgk.ape kes??ni bukan sbrgn air mata neh.ini air mata penyebok..asik ade je di mane2.mn xpenatnye aku.enuf cite psl si air mata penyebok.

u know wat makes it harder??coz im not yet redy n i never wanted to stop.tp kn bila cetting ngn die td aku rs mcm aku sorg je kot yg xredy.he sounded at ease n like everything is yesterday's bussiness.sebak rs hati.tp xkn aku nk suh die bersedih.i shud b happy if he manages to make himself happy rite??
i'll be ok.juz a matter of time.rs cam penah ckp camni before.

wish cud have him here a bit longer..which is impossible i guess..

~at least..~

2010-04-11T13:36:00.003+08:00

burp..alhamdulillah.kenyang.aku msk nasi goreng hari ni.sbb mls nk kuar.mkn ngn c'ah n c'nat.lg la bertambah selera.dh lama x enjoy meal btol2.semenjak 2 menjak ni mkn means masuk mulut kunyah sket telan.

pg td kul 805 ma kol.aku tgh tido lg.dlm hati dh tau nape ma kol.ma nk tanye psl aku ngn die.aku btau la sume bnda.suara ma hepi sgt.dlm hati terfikir...even aku xleh jd 'teman' yg baik,AT LEAST aku dh jd anak yg baik..bukankah menggembirakn hati seorg ibu itu pon pahala??
tp kesakitan n kehilangan yg aku rs..hanye Tuhan je yg tahu.betapa aku tidak suka n tidak bahagia dgn keputusan yg aku sndri buat tu..huh..tp biarlah.ape la sgt kesakitan n derita ini dibandingkn dgn air mata ma kn..

sy sgt sedih.sy senyum.sy sgt skt hati.tp sy still leh ketawa.utk ma..

~sorg2~

2010-04-10T00:27:00.002+08:00

aduhai sktnye kepala.aku ni ade penyakit kot.sudden onset of severe headache,throbbing in nature,more at night,not relieved by paracetamol.possible diagnosis-space occupying lesion most probably brain tumor..(nauzubillah..)

td g swiming best..rs cam release sume bnda dlm air.semoga aku cpt reti berenang supaya lps ni leh jd mcm percy jackson.musti hilang sume mslh.

aku g jmpe die td.ati rs tenang sgt.tgk die rs mcm tgk pantai.tp hati manusia xpenah puas.rs cam xpuas tgk die.so esok kena g tgk pantai.(yg sama mcm die..)mgkn btol ckp org..xleh memiliki,asal leh mendekati cukup la..mgkn la..

esok aku ade byk plan.xnk sabtuku berlalu ngn sgt cpt so kena isi btol2.nk pegi tgk pantai sorg2.nk pegi mkn sorg2.nk pegi tgk movie sorg2.pastu nk blk rehat sorg2.n tgk tv sorg2 and tido sorg2.aku yakin 'sorg2' thingy ni pasti berjaya..

sgt penat skrg.sgt skt kepala.sgt perlu tido skang.

~membizikan diri~

2010-04-08T21:54:00.003+08:00

br blk swiming.sgt skt kepala.ari ni swim mcm org nk suicide je..xde smgt lgsg.either sbb skt kepala yg melampau mcm nk mati tu or mmg xde smgt for no reason.smpikn farah(instructor) ckp, "akak nape hari ni swim mcm pelik je"..tp sius skt kepala td xleh blah..

aku bizi gile skang.again either mmg bizi ngn jadual yg sgt pack (kls pg smpi ptg,rehat bape minit je) or sengaja mem'pack'kn jadual supaya jd bizi.ingtkn bila bizi minda xpk pape dh.tp tgh swim kt dasar kolam td leh benti kick skjp n berfikir.apakah??tak ke melampau tuh?ape lg leh buat utk buat minda shut down n automatik lupa sume bnda??

hati jwb.."hantuk kepala kt dinding biar jd intracranial bleed terus dpt hemorrhagic stroke thus lead to memory loss".

gila!!kalau btol stroke xpe lg.klu mati terus cemane?dhla dosa bertimbun xsmpt taubat,mati bunuh diri plak.sah2 dpt tiket free masuk neraka.

tahan je la.aku yakin..lama2 skt kepala ni akan hilang,skt hati akn hilang,hati jd tenang,fikiran jd xserabut,then resume normal daily activity.lama2 la.which is xtau bila la.

pk2 blk kn..ape la nk diserabutkn sgt.org lain lg byk mslh dr kita.rilek je diorg idup.pampered sgt rasa hidup neh.mslh sket dh skt itu ini.xreti bersabar lgsg.cuba kembali ke jln lurus sket.nk suh jgn pk xlogik la plak kn.ehm nk pk sgt??pk la bayani.sbb tu je yg ko buleh buat.kot..

~kosong~

2010-04-07T15:53:00.002+08:00

pegi hospital mcm terpaksa je skang nih.kosong sguh jiwa.sume ingt aku tolak one for one another.korg salah.aku salah.aku xpilih sape2 pon.aku masih blom bersedia nk pilih.bukan skang.bukan dlm waktu2 tdekat.

sius aku silap.aku buat keputusan dulu mcm terpaksa.xpikir btol2.aku xready lgsg.tak ready nk bg komitmen utk sumtin yg serius.terasa jln aku masih jauh.tak sanggup bg hrpn palsu kt die.tak boleh.tak yakin aku boley bahagiakn die.

semua ni mcm cpt sgt utk aku,aku xsmpt nk breathe.bukan die yg push aku pon.tp terasa seperti aku di push.smpi 1 saat rs sgt tertekan.rs mcm nk jerit kt 1 dunia.aku belum bersedia!!!!dgn semua org di sekeliling yg mcm push aku n mhrpkn sumting (korg tau sape korg),aku rs bertambah2 tertekan.

mgkn keputusan aku slh.tp aku yakin ini btol utk skrg.tlg jgn sape2 tanye aku ok x or jgn ajak aku kuar mkn or jgn tanye aku buat ape.siusly korg buat aku rimas (korg tau sape korg).aku mntk maaf sgt.bunyi mcm aku xhargai korg sbg teman.tp cara korg lyn aku mcm mhrpkn sumtin else di sblk pkataan 'teman' tuh.itu la yg buat aku xleh bernafas.

skang aku xnk pk pape dh psl ni.aku juz nk focus bljr.jd doctor.pegi jauh2 dr dunia.cukup skt rs hati.cukup dh diseksa dunia.

aku sgt penat pk psl ni.sgt penat.love is just not for me.will never suit me well.stay away plz.juz let me breathe.let me live.(i mean korg)

~aku bodoh~

2010-04-05T23:02:00.002+08:00

aku dilahirkn utk sakitkan hati org di sekeliling aku.

jadi...

jauhi aku..

aku bodoh..jahat..bangang..n segala2 sifat mazmumah yg ade kt muka bumi ni.

amik hati kamu n robek2kn..itu bukan hak aku.

aku bodoh..jahat..bangang..

kamu pergila.benci la aku.mmg slh aku.lukakan kamu.aku mmg..bukan utkmu..

~kami terima~

2010-03-11T10:08:00.003+08:00

Tuhan xkn uji seseorg tu ngn bnda yg die xleh nk handle.Tuhan uji kite sbb die syg kt kite.klu kite mampu bersabar ngn ujian yg die bg,maka berganda2 la pahala yg kite dpt and suda tentu Die makin syg kt kite.alhamdulillah..dan insyaAllah ade bnda yg lg baik yg Allah jnjikn utk kite at d end of the road.(seorg teman yg comfort aku ngn kata2 neh.thanx)

aku dh ok.even kt dlm Tuhan je yg Maha tau.tp at least aku dh buleh ckp i'll be ok.i juz need some time.perasaan tu??susah nk ubah dlm waktu yg abrupt camni.tp knape nk paksa perasaan tu berubah kn?perasaan tu yg buat aku rs lg kuat.lg semangat nk terus bernafas.

aku nk btau.semua posts aku sblm ni tu mmg psl die.yg nampaknye stkt ni bukan ditakdirkn utk aku.so kami xde pape skang except try nk jd kwn biase blk.mmg susah.tp mungkin Allah dh aturkn yg lg baik utk kami.sape la kite nk lawan kuase Tuhan.moga Dia bg kami ketenangn n kekuatan nk terus jd hambaNya.

~banjir~

2010-03-09T21:50:00.003+08:00

xsume yg kite nak kite akan dapat.tp nape sume yg aku nak aku xpenah dpt???kecewa gile ngn hidup.ssh nye utk aku bahagia.jgn tanye aku ok x.of cos la aku x ok.sume yg aku plan x jadi.sume xjadi.td aku sedih.skang aku mcm nk mrh plak.tp kn xelok plak kn.klu btol ini yg tbaik utk aku,kuatkn ati aku ya allah.sbb aku mmg xkuat.aku xtau cane nk face ari2 esok.sius aku xtau.

aku silap.silap sbb suke die.paksa die suke aku jgk.pastu syg die.gile2 plak tu.tetiba bnda ni jd.im such a bad planner.

aku xtau ape akn jd kt future aku.either aku akn jd andartu or aku kena kawen paksa.yg mn 1 lg prefer??

blog ni buat aku rs nyampah.xpatut tulis pape lg.ape yg aku tulis is juz going to be another disaster..

aku suke die.aku syg die.still...

p/s:kak elis,kak aima,sy tido umah che ah mlm ni.esok sy xnk g kls.

~knape la hai~

2010-03-09T00:09:00.002+08:00

kul 1214 pg.ngntk.tp fikiran rs sarat sgt.pk2 blk kn..nape la aku slalu amik jln yg susah..jalan yg sng terbentang dpn mata.nk jgk amik the road not taken tuh.pastu sepanjang pjlnn sakit je..ape yg aku ngarut neh.biarla aku je yg phm.lgsg xsesuai utk direveal kn ape yg menyerabutkn kepala hotak aku nih.

td ptg kn..punye la aku mcm org xbtol g cari paper la,gunting la,gam lg.toksah dikira la bape kali buat bnda sama sbb xdpt result yg memuaskn.tup2 in d end rs cam xde hati lgsg nk bg bnda tu kt die.kesimpulannye,hadiah tu was a very bad choice..

arghh..nape sume bnda xmenjadi hari ni??pttla kenyit2 mata kiri aku dr pg.tu la org ckp jgn gelak byk2 time siang hari.mlm hari mendung menanti.nk g solt.istikharah ke 3.ya allah tlg la aku.sius buntu..

'love is not suppose to be this hard'

~day 5~

2010-03-08T16:19:00.002+08:00

mcm xsesuai je tajuk tu..sbb.....ari ni is d end of counting!!!hehe..he's back.tp ari ni xbape best.penat mcm hape sbb smlm tido lmbt wat keje yg btimbun(even skang pon xsiap lg).pastu punye la awal g kls sbb bgn tkejut ingtkn dh lmbt.smpi2 sana xde org pon lg hampeh.to add to d bitterness,shinde lak masuk kls.as expected,life is no less than hell la.stat2 dh scold us mcm xde hari esok dh nk scold.kuar la sume bnda ayat2 power nk jatuhkn ktrg.make us feel bad(even i bet xde org yg give a damn pon ape yg die ngarut).n camtu la.class went on.gloomy i tell u.every 1 sentence yg kula present die interrupt with social issues yg yet to be settled.

ktrg wat assumption yg die jd worst den d other days yg not so worse sbb die di exempted from being an examiner for P2S2 xm which starts today.so lpskn geram la kt ktrg yg bajet xbesalah neh.aduhai.pilihan yg sgt xbaik to start ur day.so ktrg blk kul 1030pg.blk aku terus tido mls nk pk pape.rs cam xaware dh ngn surrounding sbb penat sgt.
seb baik kls ptg td ngn dr gopal.better.n sgt best.tp xtau la cane d other half of us yg dpt ngn shinde jgk for afternoon class.God save them.

erm aku ade projek nk buat nih.hihi.surprise utk die!!till then..

p/s:utk kak elis n kak aima yg xm esok,slam it girls!!

~day 4~

2010-03-07T20:58:00.003+08:00

baru siap goreng kopok utk dijadikn kudapan smbil tgk final raja lawak.td aku ngn bdk2 ni g celeb bday syam kt JZarina.aku ngn kfid mkn nasi goreng usa share.sbb nye xrs lpr sgt.tp skang tiba2 lpr la plak.hampeh punye perut.

smlm aku xtido lgsg.mata ngntk gile tp fikiran xleh nk shut down.worse weii i tell u.skang pon ngntk lg mcm nk mati rs.(mcm la tau cane rs nk mati).diorg suh aku amik ubat batuk.mslhnye aku bukan xngntk.ngntk cume xleh tido.mslh besar sguh.mmg kena g amik zolpidem kalu gini.

erm raja lawak dh stat.esok die balik.cptla blk tgk kwn kamu yg dh xbape btol neh.haha.erm yg psti hari ni lg baik dr smlm.penantian tu sius menyeksakn weii..

p/s:hepi burfday syam..

~day 3~

2010-03-07T00:47:00.002+08:00

dh kul 1247 pg.tp mata cam xleh lelap je.xrs ngntk pon.adekah sbb dh tido ptg td or byk sgt bnda yg dipikirkn smpi xleh tido???ntah..
erm ari ni bgn quite awal sbb dh niat nk tepon ma di pg hari.tp kjp je ckp dh abes kdt,last2 skali ma yg kol blk huhu.xsbr nk blk umah.btol2 rindukn ma.td ckp ngn adik."kyani blk bilo?",tanye adik.."2 mgu lg dik",jwbku.."lmbtnye lg..",adik kate.terus rs sedih.dh lama xtgk adik waaa..

td aku g jusco ngn che ah.hjtnye nk shoping kasut.ari tu nmpk kasut cantik kt vincci.nk beli tp ms tu nk g tgk wyg cam leceh la plak nk bwk kasut kn.td g tgk dh abes dh pattern tu.dh ade yg lain yg aku xberkenan sgt.so mcm xworth it plak beli.tetiba tnpa dirancg bdk nama suzaley kate die ade kt melaka sentral.so aku ajak la die dinner skali ngn aku n c'ah.ntah la ape yg jd lps tu mbuatkn aku rs xsdp hati.ntah.xtau.sius xtau.tp hati kate mls nk pk.tp kepala otak ni asik pk je.xtau la ape yg dipikirknnye.

ari ke 3 terasa lg heavy dr hari ke 2.cptla abes pengiraan hari ni.mcm penat je.nk g solt n tido.sius mls pk.ya Allah mudahknla segalanye..
p/s:rs cam kena solt istikharah je.tp x terlambat ke ek??

~day 2~

2010-03-05T13:55:00.002+08:00

not a very gud day.presentation yg sux hanye disbbkn slide aku xcantik.she said 'its not supposed to be bullet,no bullet before dash,u remove dat bullet'..basically sbb aku yg buta IT nih xreti nk create a very nice slide to be presented to her la.so bcoz of dat she said my presentation was not gud at all.despite of my history n xm yg i kira dh ok n clear.such a nuisance.rs cam xberbaloi tido kul 230 pg n bgn kul 630 pg semata2 utk dikomen psl dat shit bullet.*did i juz say shit??sorry..

dat itself has been enuf to make me hating the start of my day.tp thank God ade savior haha.rs cam nk paste je kt sini wat msg yg i received.tp cam xmhormati die la plak kn.hihi.

tp nk cite jgk.last nite i was so lost n my eyes almost got blurred by tears.den i went to luah perasaan kt my osmet.after about 15min of 'brainwashing' and even 'cloroxing' den i realised who is at fault.put aside my ego which beats d height of a mountain, believe it or not,case has been refererred to muhamad amir.(mcm suke plak type nama nih haha) and guess wat..problems solved(at least as far as i noe la).and God knows how much better i felt after that.sbb tu la kul 12 br nk start wat slide and all d consequences as above.

kak aima ckp sy di awang awangan.che ah ckp sy tipu diri sndri.farah ckp give it a try.kesimpulannye..sy setuju ngn sume org.at first after so long..im smiling..-THANX AWK-

~day 1~

2010-03-04T12:47:00.003+08:00

1st day after he left...

stare at those roses not less than 10 times/24hrs, each is approx 5 mins.

check my phone every 10 mins(or even less)

open his fb continuously without fail(even if there is nothin new to b seen)

read up his msg over and over again since 6/2/10 until 3/3/10(despite being in hosp
or even in class)

plus: everybody around me today smells like him

i mistaken one of the patient in the ward as him(look similar from far but definitely not)

current status: conscious,alert but most of the time..LOST..
prognosis: 50% survival rate after 1 week,30% survival rate after 2 weeks
plan of management: cont observation.refer to muhamad amir if symptoms persist or getting worse.

~aduhai~

2010-03-03T21:31:00.002+08:00

aku baru siap msk dinner.menu hari ini: udang goreng masak kunyit(btol ke nama die ni huhu),nasi goreng bodoh,ikan kering hangit.eh plus air teh o ais.laparnye..nk mkn tp nk tgu nora n kak aima blk dr swiming dulu.

selsema turun naik.batuk xbenti.kepala makin panas.symptoms worse at night.and getting worse wen he's not around hehe..mengarut je tuh.miss my mommy..siusly cptla cuti.nk blk umah.rindu gile kt ma.n adik jgk..

mcm lmbt lg je nora nk blk.nk g mkn dulu ngn kak elis.hehe..sori nora.

p/s:drive safely.n blk cpt haha

~untuk awk~

2010-03-01T14:05:00.004+08:00

sy kan..xtau ape yg sy rs skang.pg td kn..rs mcm teringt sgt.knape yer?sudah jatuh ke?mcm xlogik je.sbb cpt sgt utk jatuh.another mainan perasaan kot.
tp kn..klu jatuh..slh ke?xkot kn.sbnrnye sy pon xpasti ape yg sy rs.klu awk tanye ape yg sy rs skang musti sy xleh bg jwpn jgk kt awk.byk bnda yg sy pk tau wak.pk psl ma psl abah.tu part family sy je..family awk blom pk lg tuh.
mungkin sy xptt ckp pape buat ms skang.sy suke kwn ngn awk.ley ke klu kite teruskn je kwn camni.xyah pk pape skang?

ape yg plg sy pk skang adlh mcm mane ma n abah akn pndg awk nnti.awk kena tau ma n abah sy ssh sket bab2 kwn ni.tp klu ape2 pon yg jd msti awk leh handle kn.sy tau awk kuat.bila ngn awk sy xrs takut.rs secure.
ape2 pon 1 je yg sy doa..klu btol awk utk sy,moga dipermudahkn semuanye.klu bukan pon moga dipermudahkn jgk.awk tlg amin kn jgk ye.

ok la wak.mcm xsesuai je awk pegi keje jauh2 skang.xpela.dh nama keje kn.awk sila la smbg keje.sy nk pegi kls ni.dh lmbt.babai wak..

~btol jgk katanye~

2010-02-21T17:38:00.002+08:00

btol jgk katanye..tiap kali kuar ngn die blk msti tulis blog huhu baru perasan..
esok ade test tp aku xstudi pape pon lg.tajuk pon xtau lg nih..kena cek inbox fb dulu.aduhai pesal xde mood lgsg nk studi.bakal mengundang mslh nih.

td tgk wolfman.storyline yg simple tp well-arranged and well-presented.overall,aku suke.

pg td pegi aerobik.xbape best sgt.xthrill haha.tp tu pon aku terkial2.malu kt pakcik2 n makcik2 yg sgt excellent kt situ.ape2 pon len kali pasti pegi lg.

byk bnda berlegar2 dlm kepala nih.bnda yg tak ptt pk melebihi bnda yg ptt.btol jgk katanye pilih brg pk la berkali2.jgn nnti nyesal xleh nk gostan dh.btul kot..maybe im not ready YET..

~slh lg~

2010-02-18T17:28:00.002+08:00

people said.girls assume.and it turns out to be wrong.den she doesn't want to assume nmore.afraid dat it'll b wrong again.dat's y she'll never know d truth unless he tells her.

at dis very moment,my member punye mak ade kt hosp sbb sakit.i feel so bad.so sad.mbygkn ape yg die tgh rs skang,feel like want to b close to die..tp klu aku ade close leh ke aku comfort die??hurm..tp at least..
semoga cpt2 la mak die sembuh supaya die leh senyum kembali..ameen..

nk blk umah maulud ni tp abah xbg.byk kali sgt blk katenye.so i guess stay kt melaka try to studi je la.(if only..)

~we must experience rejection~

2010-02-10T23:56:00.002+08:00

kwn2..ade berita utk diberitahu.psl post yg lps kn.i tink i was wrong la.i forgot the other possibility other than ma n abah xsuke or my siblings mengata.there is another worse possibility yg now is a reality---> he doesn't feel d same towards me..

skang aku dh tau..ia bukan lg mainan perasaan.tp perasan sorg2.(nk gelak mata berair pon ade)
bak kate sorg kwn aku nih.."we must experience rejection"..
em aku dh rs skang.even indirectly.tp aku agak yakin.and i wud say rasanye agak pedih sedikit tetapi aku masih OK.

tido itu pntg utk waktu2 spt skang..nite..

~penting ke hensem??~

2010-01-25T17:18:00.002+08:00

ari ni sius jiwa kacau..dr smlm smpi skang.aku mcm melawan perasaan hati sndri.smlm aku kuar ngn member aku.sdr xsdr aku jmpe ape yg aku cari dlm seorg lelaki dlm peribadi die.xsgka.n xnk bnda tu jd.dh lama aku nk rasa perasaan di jaga n diambil berat.tp xpenah dpt.xpenah rs.until smlm.aku serabut.sedih.kacau.knape d 1st person to show all those things to me adlh die??

pntg ke seseorg tu hensem??tipu la kalau aku kate aku nk laki yg xhensem.mmg penipu besar.tp knape laki2 hensem yg aku kenal xde peribadi yg cantik spt mane ade pd laki2 yg kurang hensem yg aku kenal??kebetulan kot.or aku mmg xde jodoh ngn org2 hensem.
so tell me..pntg ke org tu kena hensem.klu die kurg hensem,ape yg jd?either man abah aku xberapa nk setuju,or adik beradik aku mengata,or aku akan menyesal 1 hari nnti???!!!

rupe paras xbwk ke mane..my inner voice's telling.tp mampu ke teruskn??..itu suara sape ntah yg berckp..sius aku mcm dh xbape btol dowh..

~longest saturday ever~

2010-01-24T00:00:00.004+08:00

ari ni terasa panjang.pejam celik pejam celik still sabtu 23 jan lg.ari ni my day starts early.lps subuh siap2 pegi berjoging taman kt bukit serindit ngn shyd n nora.dh lama x menikmati udara segar.ape lg jiwang sepanjang taman la.time joging pon kepala otak merayau2 ntah ke mane2 ntah.tp aku jog kjp je.2 lap with a period of main buai in btwn.
sgt relaxing..n skang betis dh mula sakit2 jln terhenjut2.nmpk sgt xde stamina.

lps tu g bfast.mkn kuih muih melayu.xingt ape nama tmpt tuh.best.

blk straight away pegi emergency department ngn nora n jul.ms tu dh rs penat sbnrnye.tp dh nekad nk pegi.menarik jgk.bila dh ade kt situ xrasa ms berlalu.tetiba mata rs penat n ngntk.dh kul 1230.ajak jul blk.blk umah terasa lpr.masak skjp.ikan goreng,telor goreng,tomato asam.simple tp menjilat jari.
lps kenyang solat zohor n tido.mimpi ntah ape2.tetiba bunyi guruh.tersedar dlm terkejut teringt nora sidai kain pg td.terus berlari2 dlm mamai nk tlg g angkat kain die.rupenye die dh ade kt luar.
masuk bilik dh xleh tido.solt asar n termenung dpn tv memerhatikn air hujan.tenang dan linang.

lps maghrib td pegi rumah khairun kt muar.ade house warming.mkn byk smpi kenyang sgt.blk dh penat.hjtnye nk tido terus lps solt.tp tetiba nmpk motokar die dpn umah aku.aduhai.pesal sesi menguji ketabahan hati je nih.terseksa xterkata.

td pakwan btau makcik cafe kolej ktrg kena tangkap polis.shocking sguh.tp benar.sbb die dera pembantu rumah die smpi bdk tu meninggal.astaghfirullah.terkejut tersgt.dhla dpn ktrg baik xterkata makcik tuh.xsgka insan yg sama tu mampu mendera smpi mbunuh.huh.dunia2.

terasa spt mahu melayan perasaan.(bagai xcukup lg dilayan spnjg hari ini)..

no break

2009-12-22T16:27:00.002+08:00

sejak akhir2 ni bizi sguh hidupku.dh 4 mgu kot xde kt melaka time weekend.n by dat i mean xpenah nk dpt rehat yg secukupnye(put aside excessive sleep during weekdays kn).
start ngn blk raya haji.pastu g anta keta kt kl.den g amik keta mgu dpnnye.n ari tu blk umah anim kawen.ingtkn mgu ni dh bleh berehat menikmati udara pagi sabtu di melaka.tp mlgnye in short notice kena rush blk pahang sbb pakcik plak nk kawen.fuhh..heavy loads on my energy.

esok ade end posting psy.tup2 dh 3 mgu dh berlalu.ntahla to wat extent my brain gathers info on psy during dis duration.rs cam kosong n cetek je.spt biase..gamble!!!

td ternmpk seseorg.terus aku palingkn muka ke arah nora n ask "nora,tu die kn..blkg i" nora said "yes."..
huh kate dh 'benci'.kate 'suda tiada hati'.abih tu menempek di sliding door tiap kali _ _ _ _ _ tu knape?????
konklusinye,ini adlh sebahagian dr defense mechanism exerted by bayani tu pull herself together evritime its needed.

"wat do u tink of nik aziz?"

2009-12-09T17:21:00.002+08:00

08/12/09..
psychiatric opd.emil kreplin room.

xavier: for me the best party in this country is PAS.it is the only party dat takes a very gud
care of rakyat's need.the best in ruling and most importantly the most HONEST
party.i believe if they are given the power to rule,great changes are going to hapen
to malaysia.this is my observation.even im not a muslim, i dare to say this!!coz dis is
d truth..

sesi memperkenalkn diri bermula..

xavier: nurbayani wat do u tink of nik aziz??

..silence..

nurbayani: he is...such a great leader..(dgn jujur n ikhlas)

xavier: thank you..(with a big smile on his face)

lu pk la sndri..hehe

~abg polis~

2009-12-08T16:08:00.002+08:00

peristiwa jmpa abg polis yg bersejarah itu xkn kulupakn..teringt kembali detik2 berjalan ke arah gerai pakcik goreng pisang.nmpk sekumpulan polis2 tgh melahap(haha).rupenye slh sorg tu adlh abg polis yg ktrg jmpe kt balai polis ari tu..die la yg amik statement dr shydee psl kad atm nye yg hilang.bila aku pndg die die sengih..kenal lg la nmpknye haha..

n dat has bring us to cerita yg benar2 ingin ku ceritakn.weekend ari tu aku ke kl anta keta kt anim sbb die nk guna(xberkaki la aku skang ni pendek katanye).pstu nk blk ke melaka mlm tu ngn member aku.tetiba nk dijadikn cerita ktrg xcident.b4 masuk highway lg.ngn keta mpv mazda.cantik drivernye.baik hati plak tu.so nothing hapen la basically.cuma keta la kemek sana sini.lps tu pegi balai polis la nk wat report.klu repot leh claim insurans namanye.dugaan btol mlm tu.lps siap repot dh kul 1030.nk blk ngn bas sah2 la xde tiket kn.member aku tu dh runsim dh sbb die mmg xsuke ponteng2 kls nih.tup2 ade pakcik ofer naik keta die.kate member aku sie suh byr harga duit minyak je.setibanye di melaka die mntk rm30 seorg plak.dgn skt kepala mcm nk pecah n kepenatan yg xde sape leh byg tu aku mls nk argue.
erm..in short..dh 2 kali aku turun naik balai dlm masa 2 mgu ni.huh.ape ke nasib la..tp alhamdulillah la nothing hapen kn.sesaje Tuhan nk uji..(mula la terpk aku sabar x mlm tu??)

smlm aku dh beli tiket nk blk umah cuti awal muharam ni.anim nk nikah.nikah gantung je.majlisnye kemudian2.tp bunyi katanye mcm besar jgk sbb pihak lelaki cam nk dtg beramai2 je.ntahla biarla ape2 pon muga2 sume slmt.

haa..berita utk sume kt luar sana yg masih blom berurusan ngn aku..eumora aku sdg selling fast ni..klu lmbt rugi la..hehe..

~eumora~

2009-12-02T20:04:00.001+08:00

haa itu adlh nama produk yg aku tgh jual skang..sejenis sabun..utk kecantikan kulit esp kulit muka la..
tp seeloknye leh digunakn utk seluruh bdn utk hasil yg xkn mengecewakn..cewahh..terasa cam nk buat iklan plak..so klu sape2 nk tau lebih lnjut or yg berminat nk beli leh terus consult aku ye..

lama gile aku blk cuti raya haji..pg ni br smpi dr kg..huhu sgtla puas hati.siap ber'bbq' kt dpn umah.best tersgt.ckp psl tu rs cam nk blk lg huhu..melampau2.
blk umah ari tu satu kali lg kes berbangkit diusulkn oleh ma aku.psl aku blom ade pkwe.siusly sblm ni aku xpenah rs pape pon psl tu.biase je.best je idup aku sorg2 gni.tp ma menyuarakn plak isu ni..dicomparekn plak ngn adik aku yg umur 19thn tu yg ramai tersgt peminatnyesmpi xtau nk pilih.huh nk wat cane dh anak die yg no 3 ni xde org nak..
itu la jgk jwpn aku kt ma.mls nk pk.(perlu ke pk??bukannye im in desperateneed of a guy pon)..
maka sejurus slps hal itu terus dibahas aku angkat kaki melangkah naik tangga ngn mlsnye..g main game kt atas..
lega..
huhu.xbaik plak rs tgal ma cam tu je.tp nk cane rs cam rimas memikirkn sume org tgk aku mcm andartu pdhl it's d thing dat i cudn't care less..aduhai apela nk jd.penat nk yakinkn sume org yg aku mmg xnk.aku nk bljr lg.ade setahun lg.lama tu.plus mmg xde org nak.haha.

lawak sguh idup..ma msti terpk2 sbb mmber2 skolah aku sorg demi sorg dtg umah bg kad undangn.huhu..

tahniah utk datul n faiz yg dh slmt mdirikn msjid..alhamdulillah..

at 3 am..

2009-11-22T02:50:00.002+08:00

knape aku xtido lg time ni..kul 3 pagi..mata dh pedih..tp kepala xnk switch off..heran..teringt kt sumbody tp xleh nk buat ape..makin sakit bila buat xtau..tp klu buat tau pon bukannye hilang sakit tu..
dh 7 minggu xnmpk die..lama tu..mgkn die dh lupakan aku.eh silap.pasti die dh lupakan aku..hurm tp bila aku nk terlupa psl die ek???
waaa xpenah terjadi dlm sejarah hidup bayani..catat rekod ni.
penatla.kdg2 sedih pon ade.bercampur baur.klu kt umah best jgk.bila jd camni leh suh adik tlg nyanyikn lagu nur kasih hihi ataupon lg jangan nakal..(best sgt adik nyanyi).leh distract mind sesaat dua..

aku btol2 sedih n penat..ingtkn dia..

~cantiknye ciptaan Tuhan~

2009-08-25T11:27:00.002+08:00

dr smlm lg aku nk menaip..tp lptp buat hal la plak.seb baik abah ckp blk ni blk tukar lptp..berbunga hati aku huhu..buat ms skang tpaksa la aku guna desktop kt com lab ni..tp best sbb laju huhu..ade aircond plak tu..

smlm aku blk dr muar smpi sini kul 145 tgh hari lebih kurg pastu turun je dr bas dgn mata ptosis sbb br bgn tido tu,terasa 1 instinct utk utrn to my left side..terus aku nmpk sorg makhluk ciptaan Tuhan in white..antiknye..(hensemnye)..seraya teringt aku puase so terus tukar ape yg ade dlm hati jd 'masyaAllah indahnye makhluk ciptaan Tuhan'..
dh lama aku suke ngn ciptaan Tuhan tu..agak lama.setiap kali tgk dia bagaikn jatuh cinta berkali2..even dh tau mmg jauh panggang dr api utk aku dekati die tp stil aku suke kt die..pelik sguh..
knape la manusia slalu nk bnda yg die xkn dpt??xsdr2 lg ke?
tp mn leh tipu perasaan sndri kn..

tp bukan slh aku jgk..ciptaan Tuhan tu terlalu indah di mata aku..smpi kn aku rs cam nk freeze kn die n frame kn..supaya die kekal indah begitu..

sius aku suke die..dr dulu smpi skang..sius sesius siusnye..

~stress melampau~

2009-08-12T18:29:00.002+08:00

dulu aku ingt aku manusia paling kebal..xkn terjejas walau ditiup taufan.tp ari ni aku tau aku cume manusia biase yg fragile gile..

ari ni i had a bad session ngn dr rahim.yg dikabarkn sgt baik oleh sume previous batches.nmpk gayanye it does not apply d same for me.xtau nape sgt cpt terasa.at d beginning aku ok lg.kepala dh pening.teruskn jgk..den towards d end finish examination rs cam nk scream i cannot take it anymore!!!!!!ini baru ditiup oleh dr rahim klu taufan dtg xtau la..

den there goes my day la..rs dh sgt blank..sgt sedih ngn diri sndri yg xde pkataan yg lg sesuai utk men'describe'kn diri aku time tu kecuali 'bodoh'..xde polite words dh yg leh gnti word yg sgt rude itu..terima jela..mmg itu pon yg terjadi td.i am so much affected in n out dat i oso skip my lunch(which is xpenah dibuat oleh bayani).

pastu terbyg2la p2s1 dpn mata..rs cam sgt2 xredy lg klu mcm ni..xtau pape.huh.makin la stress.xsgka lak aku stress smpi gini.nk senyum pon dh xde hati apatah lg bergelak ketawa.bila dh jd mcm ni startla homesick.sius nk blk umah.
nk kol ma tkt nangis plak by d time dgr suara ma.buat bazir kedit je klu gtu kn.huh sius dh at a dead end mmg xleh buat ape n xtau nk buat ape n klu tau pon mmg xnk buat pape.(mcm kritikal je bunyi)..

p/s: bak kate gurp muka pon dh merah time present td..berusaha to freeze my lacrimal duct..

~ujung minggu~

2009-08-08T23:39:00.002+08:00

aku br blk mkn..kuar kul 830 td..skang dh pukul 1145..(lama gile mkn haha)..xla..g jonker jln2 ngn razmi ngn farid..
aku suke g jonker street..xtau knape..sbb die byk brg kot.bukan aku beli pon.cume suke tgk.byk kali jgk la aku pegi sana.n byk jgk dh brg yg aku beli kt sana-beg,sliper,anting2,gelang,n stuff..

td g mkn kt opposite hosp putra.ade gerai kt situ.best.mkn chicken chop.ari tu dh penah pegi sana ngn kak elis.tp ms tu gerai yg jual western tu tutup..ari ni dpt jgk ktrg mkn..besar gile ayam die i tell u..sah2 la aku xabes kn.(seb baek farid yg abeskn haha)..
time tgh mkn tu khairun msg.die nmpk sorg mamat naik motor atas highway kt kluang pki jersi kls aku yg kaler itam tu written 'bayani' at d back..what??!!!biar btol..tkejut gile aku.khairun ingtkn jali..(klu jali bapak terharu gile aku)..tp seingt aku xdela plak aku bg jersi tu kt die.tp at d same time dat jersey is really not with me rite now!!!(and as i remember for quite some time alredy)..
wahh mmg seram n sangsi..abaikn..

erm aku dh setelkn tiket blk aku..kire nyer dh kompem aku blk merdeka ni plus blk raya nnti..huh..mmg gamble.aku akn cuba usaha dulu studi kaw2 punye mcm yg xpenah dibuat oleh bayani sebelum ni..blk umah raya sambil tenangkn hati di sisi my family(i need strength from 'em)..pastu tawakal la..semoga nasib menyebelahi aku insyaAllah..

::minggu ni kak elis n kak aima blk umah..tgal aku sorg2(eh ade tetamu xingt hihi)..seb baek ade razmi,jul and farid yg sudi menemani my weekend hihi terharu skali lg..::

~aku n mereka~

2009-08-04T13:40:00.003+08:00

aku br blk lunch..ngn jijul nora n kishen..super duper full..dh lama xmenaip sbb xde bnda nk ditaip..aku tgh tgk blog azamhashim nih..buat aku rs gatal nk kawen haha(again..same prob..nk kawen ngn sape??!!)tp agak menarik la..huhu..

sedar xsedar dh dkt gile nk final..tkt melampau smpi dh naik ke kepala..tp mcm xde tindakan pon..huh..org lain berlari2 ke hosp..ade yg berlari2 ke library menggalas beg yg sarat ngn buku2..dihias plak ngn riak wajah stress yg xde sape leh bayangkn..hurm..aku pon berlari2 jgk..tp destinasi xsama..
berlari2 g beli tiket nk blk umah..
berlari2 g mkn..
berlari2 g tepon ma,anim n kak diah..
berlari2 nk tido..

bezanye aku n mereka..

smlm aku tgk cite seducing mr perfect utk kali ke berapa entah..tp xingt pon cite die cemane sbb dh lama tgk..so kire cam 1st time tgk jgk la..best..gile terbuai..kdg2 org laki tu xtau yg sbnrnye die dh mula syg kite..n trust me true love yg kuimpikan benar2 wujud..juz a matter of time..

~ape mau buat..~

2009-07-28T19:30:00.002+08:00

ari ni aku ngn kak elis msk for dinner..hasilnye..
sup ayam
sayur goreng berempah tomyam
telor dadar
huhu simple bukan??tp i gerenti musti mjilat jari punye la(sbb ktrg mmg tgh lpr haha)..

ade bnda utk diluahkn..xtau sama ade patut atau tidak..kias2an la yer..mntk2 xde sape2 terasa..kite mntk maap awal2 la klu terasa jgk..

klu ex anda mengejas teman baik anda..(sekurg2nye anda menganggap die sbg teman baik)..ape mau buat???how to react??
sebetolnye tidak ade lgsg even secebis perasaan yg dinamakn cemburu itu..tetapi dirasakn tindakan itu sedikit xpatut..
atau mungkin aku yg slh??ntah..kompius..
sebetolnye jgk aku mmg xmau lg amik kesah..walau ape pon yg die nk buat..dr dulu lg aku ckp aku sntiase doakn sume org bahagia ngn hidup n tindakan masing2 termasukla die..

hurm..hidup2..ssh nk predict ape yg jd..biarlah..aku tumpang bahagia..

mkn lg bagus kn..mari2..bismillah..

~sesi mntk maap~

2009-07-27T20:29:00.002+08:00

xsmpi sebulan pon lg dh nk puasa...org ckp nk hadapi puasa ni elok klu kite sucikn diri..sebersih yg boley..slh 1 caranye ngn mntk maap..

aku br tau rupenye bukan aku sorg yg tidak dijemput ke mjls tempoh hari..mungkin adlh disbbkn ketidaksengajaan pihak penganjur atau pon sebaliknye..tulisan aku smlm mmg berdsrkn perasaan hati yg tgh xstabil...so hrp pihak penganjur maafkn la ketidakpatutan tindakan ku..mntk maaf ek..sy jnji xbuat lg..

tp aku br dpt markah utk surgery ari tu..sgt la rendah even lulus..org ckp bdk medic mmg nk lulus je kn tp bila dh dpt sgt rendah tu agak terkejut jgk sedikit sebanyak..kerana dlm hati berbisik 'aku rs cam dh buat lg elok drpd ape yg ter reflect dgn markah tu'..xptt kn..bersyukur la ngn ape yg kite dpt..segala yg kurg tu sbb diri sndri jgk..ade la lack nye kt mane2..so jgn rebel n usaha lg!!!chaiyok!!!
mntk maaf kt Allah pon pntg jgk..ampunkn hambamu ini yaAllah..sesungguhnye aku insan yg hina yg xsempurna..

dh luahkn ape yg nk diluahkn ni..mari la kite sucikn dlmn plak..bismillah..

eh xingt..alem dtg melaka ari ni..jln2 tgk member die kt sini..td am ajak kuar dinner sesama..tp mlgnye aku br je blk dr dinner..xpela..maybe next time..buat alem:enjoy ur stay!!!

~too many things~

2009-07-26T23:22:00.002+08:00

aku tgh rush..nk tulis sume bnda yg aku rs nk tulis..tersgt byk tp kena tulis cpt2 tkt lptp aku off sndri b4 smpt save..haa itu 1 bnda yg aku nk ckp..lptp aku buat hal..yg mega punye..smpi aku pon dh ter'mega' tensen dh ni..die asyik off sdnri..dh pegi repair n byr rm50 for nothing..huh..

smlm hari aku keterkilanan teramat..hihi..rupenye aku sorg je yg x dijemput ke party bbq kt umah afie..so tgal la aku kebosanan keseorgn keterkilanan di rumah..gitu la..tp aku dh xingt pon..ntah la..rs mcm lonely..dulu rs serabut sgt smpikn nk sgt dok sorg2..tp skang rs sedih sbb ditinggalkn keseorgn..ish manusia xpenah syukur ngn ape yg die ade kn..nauzubillah..

ari tu aku blk umah..cuti 4 ari haha..sgt best ms yg di spend di rumah..td baru siap ckp ngn ma..rs mcm aku hanye ade famili aku je skang..maybe slps insiden smlm kot..rs mcm kwn pon dh xde..ape la manusia tnpa kwn kn??org ckp kite xkn dpt kwn yg baek jika kite xmenjadi seorg kwn yg baek..maybe xcukup lg ape yg aku lakukn slama ni utk kwn2 aku kot..ok i'll try to improve..

ok la xsmpt dh nk luahkn kesedihan yg mencengkam setiap pelusuk hati nih..kena off skang b4 die off sndri..huhu..sadis sguh hidup..

~cemburu~

2009-07-14T12:48:00.004+08:00

aku nk kongsi 1 info..mind u byk info kt sini adlh drpd teori yg aku buat sndri..
mula2 kite tgk dulu ape definiton die..jealous means..

Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love.---->ini wiki yg ckp..

ade lg..

Jealousy differs from envy in that jealousy is about something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy refers to something one does not have and either wants to acquire or to prevent another from acquiring.

ape sbb2 seseorg tu rs jeles??

#bila dat sumone or sumtin die yg punye..contohnye boypren die or gurlpren die rapat or mesra ngn org len..sah2 la jeles kn..

#bila die dh rapat ngn org tu buat sekian lamanye n suddenly org tu baik ngn org len plak..logik ke jeles sbb ni??tp ade org camni k..aku tau..

#n yg ketiga bila org tu dh luahkn perasaan dkt die n die menolak n tetiba org tu baik ngn org len plak dlm gap ms yg xbyk beza..pdhl sblm ni org tu baik ngn sape2 die xkesah pon..haa ini yg plg xleh blah..jeles utk bnda yg bukan die punye..

mind u skali lg..n3 kali ni xde kaitan ngn sape2..tetiba rs cam terpk psl ni..aku rs sume org maybe dh rs slh satu drpn 3 keadaan di atas(atau mungkin ketiga2 skali..who knows?..)
org selalu ckp cemburu tu tanda syg..btol ke??most of d time ye kot..tp itu juga indicates simple 'afraid of losing..even without syg..'(is it?..)

hurm perasaan manusia sgtla complicated..kdg2 kite la org yg plg xphm ngn diri kite sndri kn kn..sbg manusia yg dikurniakn akal fikiran n perasaan kite ade hak utk berperasaan cemburu tp dlm ms yg sama it has to be well-controlled supaya kite x rosakkn hari org lain ngn perasaan kite yg kdg kala..erm inappropriate i wud say..

::renung2kn n selamat beramal huhu::

~another born-day~

2009-07-11T22:58:00.004+08:00

tanggal 11july 1985 seorang bayi perempuan yg xbape comel telah dilahirkn n diberi nama siti norazalis..dan ari ni cukup 24thn suda die bernafas di muka bumi ini..maka aku yg ditakdirkn mengenalinye 'terpaksala' mengucapkn slmt hari lahir buat kak elis yg agak tersayang haha..

sempena ngn hari yg cukup bermakna buat die ni aku telah mengajak mereka semua utk memaknakn lagi hari ini dgn being away from d house haha..ktrg g jln2 kt dtrn dr kul 3 ptg smpi la kul 11mlm(apakah??aku pon ssh nk pecaya..agak melampau bukan??)maka hadiah utk kak elis adlh masa yg kukorbankn ini hahaha(pdhl xtau nk beli hadiah ape)..erm byk sguh brg yg dicekup..semoga sume org puas hati..gud day i wud say hehe..

aku n kak elis

kami

again happy burfday dear..may all d gud things dat u wish for be yours..love u..

~im done!!!~

2009-07-10T19:18:00.003+08:00

hehehehe..bahagia dh..
slps beberapa hari ati asik runsing n rs cam nk bunuh org jek..
ari ni ari last surgery posting..huh rs cam posting ni xdela teruk sgt tp bila dh abes rs cam dh buang 1 beban yg sgt besar..erm hopefully lps ni belayar ngn smooth la..

ari tu aku gaduh ngn member aku..xdela gaduh segaduh2nye tp berselisih phm..ntahla aku rs tertekan n tensen bile org mhrpkn yg lebih dr sebuah persahabatan..bukan itu aje...mrh plak bila aku xnk..apakah??xke itu dikira xikhlas berkwn??tensen la..aku btol2 kecewa n terkilan ngn die..dh xnk kwn dh lps ni..juz leave me in my own world..i seriously dun want to b involved wif u nmore in any circustances dat cud be..enuf is enuf..im moving on..n u hv no damn right at all to stop me!!!!(kegeraman memuncak)..
tp aku xberdendam pon..kire abes di sini la..semoga die bahagia ngn sikap n perangai die..n semoga ade org yg btol2 ikhlas leh terima siapa die..

aku sbnrnye nk blk mgu ni..dh rncg ngn kdiah n anim..tetiba dek kerana kebongokan sndri nama aku adlh antara nama2 yg dipaksa utk attend xtra class dis saturday..aduhai..rs mcm dugaan besar utk aku..sedih tersgt yg xde sape leh byg..tp skang dh leh terima la..insyaAllah klu diizinkn Tuhan aku blk mgu dpn..ameen..

ape nk buat ek mlm ni..cam bosan je..teringin nk g pantai..sape nk temankn??!!

~penat lg~

2009-07-07T21:49:00.004+08:00

lps asar td aku nora n kak elis pegi ke hosp Pantai opposite to King's hotel utk melawat akram(ayoh) yg diadmit smlm sbb high fever..sbnrnye disuspek denggi sbb platelet count rendah tp td die ckp doc dh rule out denggi..most probably due to viral fever..erm ape2 pon ms aku tgalkn die td dh nmpk a lot better..(maybe sbb aku yg pegi melawat kot haha)..tau kt marie ni mampos aku..semoga ayoh cpt sembuh ye..(anok sntiasa doakn huhu)
haa td dkt entrance hosp tu ktrg kena tembak ngn termometer 'gun' huhu..utk screening H1N1..sape yg free from any fever je leh masuk dlm hihi cam menarik plak..

erm lps tu baru la ktrg betolak ke MYDIN..dh dkt kul 6 dh ms tu..seb baek weekday so xramai org..kak elis kate klu weekend sgt penuh..sedikit info psl mydin baru nih..lokasi die dekat gerbang MITC..lalu situ terus nmpk..agak besar..tp bentuk die sius berkotak..xde architecture lgsg huhu..nama die 'pasar raya besar mydin'..huhu cool..aku suke tmpt die..sbb parking xyah byr..n simply sbb die besar..so suke la window shoping..tp td dh xjadi window shopin dh..byk sgt dh beli nih..brg kecik2 xnmpk pon..tp duit dh byk abes tu pon rs mcm ade lg brg yg nk dibeli...nnti lenkali klu cari bayani xjmpe mksdnye kt mydin baru la tu haha..

eh xingt..td abu(arnab kak aima) mati..vet ckp possibility of food poisoning..sgt sedih..ntahla knape..sume binatang yg dipelihara di rumah ini xpnjg umur(kecuali ikan aku yg nmpk gayanye masih sihat walafiat)..wahai kay umah depan amik la arnab kamu yg kaler hitam ni..cuba try letak umah kamu plak..see if dat will bring any changes..huh dh xsgup meratapi kematian binatang2 yg sudah dear to us nih..

ok la nk g mndi n solt isyak..pastu try baca buku or tido la..sgt2 penat..

~pancet~

2009-07-03T22:38:00.005+08:00

aku br blk swiming..tgk2 cite nur kasih dh abes..sedih xsmpt tgk..nnti nk tgk dkt tv3..its a must see series tau..meh nk cite wat hapen kt pool td..aku sbnrnye nk bljr ngn farah je tp tetiba ramai plak org kt sana antara org yg aku kenal ade wei hao,likiey n abg suhaimi..pastu since die nmpk aku br nk bljr so die yg amik alih tugas farah utk ngajar aku..'abg suhaimi pegang ek'..seriau bulu roma hahaha..tp xde pape la..sbb die mntk izin so aku conscious la..tp most of d time farah la yg ngajar..huhu tq farah..so far aku dh bljr breathing,kicking,n swim to d end using board hahhaa..floating masih ketakutan lg..so 'save dat for d next session' kate abg suhaimi..

huhu ati berbunga riang even pg td event xbape best jd..viva aku rs cam teruk je..pk sen tanye psl antibiotik in surgery..tanye aku 3 soklan yg 2 drpdnye die yg jwb..5min je..terus suh aku kuar..aduhai blk ngn mood berkecamuk..tp pd wktu yg sama namia online..he relieved my worry without he even trying to..'sumtimes u need to be at d bottom so dat u realize u have to be on top'..itu la yg die ckp..aku terus senyum n lupakan sume kegawatan perasaan time tuh..huhu tq namia..

erm ari tu aku g tgk cite drag me to hell..best jgk..aku suke..tp kdg2 rs cam scene die melampau sgt..its about how a girl's life changed due to a curse by a gipsy woman..best..nnti korg pegi la tgk..aku penat la..nk berehat..

~mlm jumaat~

2009-07-02T19:56:00.002+08:00

tau2 la br lps buat ape kn..dh nama dh mlm jumaat..
erm mlm jumaat mgu ni rs mcm sayu je slps ter'muhasabah' diri..byk bnda yg buat aku rs sayu..
kes pertama:

ari tu aku jmpe 1 pt kt muar..die accident sebulan yg lps n paralyse from waist below for life..den developed sacral sore which has spread to become Fournier's gangrene..he is juz 24..sama 'muda' ngn aku..belanggar motor ngn member tmpt keje die..die mcm sgt x cooperative at first..dat's y nobody approach him..dr jauh muke die nmpk sedih..aku pegi approach die sbnrnye sbb xde kes lain..
'umur berape ye bang?'(pdhl aku dh tau umur die tgk dlm file)
'24'..
'owh silap bukan abg..sy pon 24..hehe'
he smiled..n turn his head towards me..
and dats how it went until i finish my history n examination..(plus his detail 'personal' history haha)..
i feel so relieved at d end of d session..never tout it's gonna feel so gud making people smile..i said to myself 'i really want to b a gud doctor who can brush away people's agony n tears n replace 'em wif a beatiful n soothing smile'..

kes kedua:
aku tgk cerita 3janda..ade sorg ni nama die intan(lisa surihani)..die mcm xsure la sape yg die suke antara a very romantic masculine handsome man(farid kamil) and a very biase but understandable caring man(azhar sulaiman) which definitely can make her laugh n laugh n fill d day wif juz happiness!!!!sgt sayu bila pk psl tu..aku rs ramai laki skang mcm farid kamil but i really hrp a guy like azhar sulaiman will show up soon in my life..xlogik utk rs sayu kn..huhu..

ape2 pon..kisah sayu di mlm jumaat harus dilupakan..so dat event pntg pg jumaat esok iaitu 'viva sdl' ngn prof pk sen..membaca sedikit!!

~burfday wishes~

2009-06-29T18:19:00.004+08:00

29/06/09..hari ni burfday kak aima yg ke bape ek??xsure huhu tanye die sndri..aku xwish lg..so nk wish kt sini..

Because today's so special
it really wouldn't do,
to send one simple birthday wish
to last the whole year through...
So this wishes happy moments,
a day when dreams come true,
and a year that's filled with all the things
that mean the most to you.

have a happy burfday..

and a wonderful year..

hadiahnye..erm len kali ek kak aima..xtau nk beli ape..kire kongsi ngn jabbar je leh x??hahaha..

ape2 pon luv u n gud day!!!

~eventful week~

2009-06-29T12:14:00.007+08:00

erm dh lama x menulis..byk dh bnda berlaku in d meantime..skang ni mak n ayah n adik kak elis ade kt umah..diorg dtg anta kak elis smlm..n ade sebuah viva hitam kt dpn umah..agak smart huhu kak elis punyer..
weekend yg lps aku blk umah an lg hehe niat sbnr nk pegi famili day petronas yg ade konsert faizal tahir haha sgtla tidak mengecewakn..hosted by 'jozan'..they were superb!!!penat gelak..slps konsert tu jatuh hati berkali2 ngn faizal tahir huhu..selain tu ade man kidal,ade ramli sarip n ade sheila OIAM..wat a nite...huhu..

inila antara gmbr faizal tahir menyanyi..

duit dh masuk..agak byk for dis month sbb plus ngn duit buku n perkakas..hepi..tp smlm pakwan btau diorg(d 1st 5 names) xdpt as much as we got..diorg dpt half je..ade la kesilpn teknikal di mane2 yg selalu terjadi dr dulu ngn MARA ni..sian diorg smpikn dh rs xbest dh..moga cpt disetelkn la..

aku plan nk blk umah 2 minggu lg..lps abes surgery..tp tiket xbeli lg..rindu sgt kt adik n sume org kt umah..haa ade bnda nk tulis sbnrnye..ttg berita2 yg mengejutkn berlaku these few days..

#kwn aku kt mrsm meninggal kt ukm akibat jatuh dr tingkat 4 asrama
#ida nerina jatuh dr tgkt 4 jgk n probably akn paralyse for life
#michael jackson meninggal due to cardiac arrest tp smpi skang blom dikebumikn sbb suspicion of d cause of death
#adik aku,syauqi dikejarkn ke emergency at 3 am due to multiple episodes of vomiting-xm finding revealed hypertension n frothy urine..next day evaluation shows BP drop to normal n condition stable..(ma diagnose acute gastroenteritis due to food poisoning)

erm xde dh kot..okla berehat sbntr..lps ni ade clinical skills on draping at 315..ngntk..

~sedih+happy~

2009-06-22T17:19:00.003+08:00

aku br blk..kls abes kul 4..tp lpr sbb xlunch td..pegi mkn ngn nora,shydee n jijul..dkt pulau kelapa..best jgk byk bnda aku mkn..antaranye nasi goreng ayam,kuih sagu,tauhu sumbat n air teh o beng..
eop ku sudah dicompemkn..its gonna be dis coming wednesday..initially next monday but since next monday is a holiday for johor so it is preponed..fuhh dulu rs cam lewat sgt..skang rs cam mak aii dekatnye..hurm ape2 pon face it je la..tawakkaltu ala allah..semoga dimudahkn segalanye nnti..
sbnrnye aku rs cam xde mood ari ni..ade sumtin yg too big too shocking telah terjadi n im still trying to wash my mind from d memory juz now..tp syg skali xleh cerita kt cni..dikhuatiri dibaca oleh org2 yg berkaitan..haa aku tau..meh aku cite about my weekend ari tuh hehe..

ari jumaat mlm---->my 1st swimming session ngeh3x..
sabtu pg smpi ptg----->bertandang ke umah pakcik razmi yg berada di midway btwn melaka n muar dgn niat utama utk melahap durian huhu..rezeki bertambah ade jgk manggis yg sgt best..aku mkn smpi xingt dunia..slow tp byk haha..sgt puas hati..
sabtu mlm------->celeb bday kfid di tomyam klasik..mknn yg sgt best di majlis yg sgt grand gtu haha..mlm tu tgk konsert inspirasi tv3..rs menyesal xpegi dtrn merdeka mlm tu huhu
ahad pg n ptg------>weekend chores..lps tu g shoping ngn kak elis dkt tesco..mkn kfc..
ahad mlm----->buat repot smbil tgk mentor kt tv3 n ghost kt 8tv..

waahhh sgt full jadual ku huhu..
hasilnye...1)tido lewat mlm smlm sbb xsiap repot..
2)dompet kering habes shoping haaha
3)tp plus point is hati bahagia sbb leh mkn durian dgn byknyen enjoy shoping sbb
dh lama xspend duit huhu

erm xingt nk cerita ari ahad tu aku msg abah wish hepi father's day yg berbunyi 'hepifather's day abah..luv u so much muah muah'..pastu die reply 'ok..tq very much..' ..hatiku berbunga riang..

~post-BINJAI syndrome~

2009-06-19T19:07:00.004+08:00

binjai tu adlh sejenis buah..td kak elis beli sebijik dkt psr mlm desa baru..sebiji rm2..sius ly bila terpk psl binjai aku jd terpk aku ni org mesia ke x??sbbnye aku xpenah dgr n xpenah tgk pon buah yg nama die binjai..die ade 2 jenis..manis n masam..yg ktrg beli td yg msm nye..
ktrg mkn cecah ngn kicap+garam..lps aku try waahh best rupenye..tp sgtla msm..Tuhan je yg tahu..aku suke la..
lps mkn tu..lidah aku keep touching my lelangit..rs sgt irritated..gigi ni dh terlekat ngn urat2 binjai..lidah rs coaty..apakah ini..berkuasanye buah binjai yg buruk di appearance tp masam gle di dlm!!!!

ok la..kami nk g swimming..aku nk g gosok gigi n gosok lidah n plus some listerine!!!hope leh neutral blk..

~shameless~

2009-06-19T10:48:00.003+08:00

aku br blk kls..kls dh lm abes sbnrnye..pg ni kt kampus je radiology class ngn veena..tajuk die 'barium studies'..sejak smlm aku demotivated..nmpk gayanye ari ni prolong lg la status tu..
kls start ngn kdtgn shydee yg lmbt..veena ganti bismillah dgn 'there is no limit to the shameless in dis class rite'..berdesing telinga aku dgr..tp i looked down n diam je..
pastu die tanye nora..'what r d types of barium studies??..dr dat point aku dh tau 'bad day'..
den die tanye aku how to prepare d pt for barium..aku jwb nil by mouth..
den she started bombing me wif questions dat she noe i wont be able to answer like :

how many hours b4 procedure pt need to fast??2d?3d?
is it only solid or fluid also?
how to advise d pt?
wat medication shud b given next?

i raised d white flag...

den she cont on asking d others..silent..she said i doubt any of u hv ever read b4 coming for dis class..den she teach everything in juz 2 or 3 breaths n finish d class..she must be very disappointed wif us..hurmm..xleh nk buat ape..aku mmg xbaca..pemalasnye skang..rs cam kena sumpahan..
repot xsiap lg..isnin ni kena anta 8 kes..i only ade 6 skang..ntahla mcm mane..aku btol2 xde tenaga..td dh buat 1 tindakan yg slh ngn minum susu strawbery..mcm ade symptom lactose intolerance la plak..aduhai..ape nk jd nih..

hepi burfday kfid..xsmpt nk wish..semoga hepi slalu jgn jd mls cam aku huhu..

as a response on jelita'entry--->AYAH

2009-06-15T18:34:00.002+08:00

br siap mndi..terasa sedikit fresh..melayani ptgku yg xde kls ngn tido n merehatkn diri spt biase..den br tbkk blog jelita..ade entry menarik rupenye..
aku pon byk kali dgr org ckp `slmt hari bapa' tp xtau exactly date die..(my reason for not wishing my abah)..

ari jumaat ari tu aku sort of gaduh ngn abah..puncanye aku drive ke kl alone n xbtau abah..mlm tu bila dh smpi umah anim aku msg him..den die kol aku xdgr coz we went out for dinner..xterpk pon ape terjadi kt umah..den bile blk tu around 1030 nmpk la byk miskol..pastu kol him terus dpt maki hamun(mcm kasar je ayat nih)..tp mmg begitu la..aku cam terkejut smpi xphm pon ape abah ckp..fikiran dh melayang tmpt lain kaki cam dh xterpijak mata dh bergenang airnye..

itu la bnda yg slalu jadi bila abah marah..abah mmg garang..suke mrh2..xleh slh sket msti ngamuk..tp dh lama abah xngamuk..in fact aku slalu ckp abah sgt baik sejak akhir2 ni..maybe sbb dulu ktrg slalu giv him a headache kot..

so masa die mrh2 aku mlm tu aku cam terfikir.."abah i tout u changed"..siusly aku sgt kecewa..lps tu aku ckp.."abah dhla tu..dh slmt smpi..xde pape dh.."
mlm tu aku nanges sorg2 smpi teresak2..sgt sayu rsnye..aku sgtla xleh bile ditengking..rs sgt sengsara..

surprisingly..esoknye aku teringt kata2 abah "org ni riso kn die..die tu tau 'galok' je"..pk2 blk slhnye aku..if only aku btau dulu b4 btolak..or juz grab sumbody to teman me..this things wudn't hv hapen kn..ok..aku menyesal n tau aku mmg bersalah..nk mntk maaf tp mcm dats not me je mntk maaf ngn abah ni..so aku biar je dulu..
smlm aku kol him but he didn't pick up..30 min later die kol blk..rupenye td tgh meeting..die kt tganu baru smpi katenye ade kursus..suara abah time tu cam hepi je..den abah said"ingtkn dh xnk ckp ngn abah.."..hehehhe..hatiku berbunga..tp aku terharu..i want to say it out loud..SAYANG ABAH!!!!!!!!!

ya Allah..pnjgkn la umur abahku..bahagiaknla die slalu..berkatila idupnye..kerana aku anaknye will do ntin only for his smile..slmt hari bapa abah..
(mntg2 abah xlogik akn bc bnda ni jiwang thp melampau huhu)

~sedih without sign~

2009-06-14T22:07:00.002+08:00

sy rs sgt xsedap hati seketika tadi..skang baru sy tau kenapa hati ini xmau tenang..menyesal dgn tingkah laku diri sndri..tp mcm dh xleh buat ape..erm manusia mmg mcm tu kn..asyik buat keputusan yg slh den menyesal..bengangnye ngn diri sndri!!!

nk cerita tp xleh..too personal..muga2 cptla tenang hati..

xjadi la tulis blog..btol2 xsdp hati n xde mood nk menaip..

~epigastric fullness~

2009-06-10T22:25:00.002+08:00

aku n sekeluarga(kak aima n kak elis) br blk dr our dinner kt giant..specifically uncle john kopitiam..i had mee siam n red coffee..d latter xbape sdp..erm tp nmpknye xsume org in a gud mood ari ni..ade seorg dr ahli keluarga ku yg ade prob sket..
semoga Allah mudahkn urusan kamu ye teman..n diselesaikn segala mslh insyaAllah..

skang ni ade cite suria kasandra di tv3 yg dibintangi oleh jehan miskin n heroin yg aku xtau nama die haha..aku bukan tgk sgt pon..tp tiap kali aku tgk aku rs best jgk cite ni..(aku kn jiwang haha)..terharu dgn seorg lelaki yg begitu menyayangi seorg perempuan..die ckp.."yg terpisah hanye jasad..bukan hati kite.."...waaa sedihhh haha sah jiwang..terfikir sebentar..agungnye sebuah cinta..alangkah manisnye jika agungnye sebuah cinta itu utk Dia yg satu..

i shud be studying rite now instead of dok menagrut dpn laptop..erm toshiba aku mcm dh xbape nk idup lama sedih jgk..tp dh dekat 3 thn dh umur die..boley kate logik jgk kot klu die nk buat perangai..skang ni mhrpkn bantuan dell..tp nnti kena pulangkn blk sbb dell ni kdiah yg guna..dowhhh bagaimane lps nih??huh..manusia xpenah lps dr mslh kn..tp bila lg difikirkn mslh tu akan jd lg besar..so biar je la..mntk2 ade la penyelesaiannye..
knape aku mcm baik je ari ni..nginsaf kjp kot haha..

sinar oh sinar..dtgla hihihi..

~weekend TERHEBAT~

2009-06-08T20:12:00.002+08:00

hehehhe...dimulakan dgn senyuman..aku br siap ngaji(alhamdulillah)..smbil mengingati semula hujung mgu ku yg sgt menarik smpi xterkata..huhu..

ktrg bertolak pukul 830..smpi umah c'ah lebih kurg 1130 gtu..aku yg drive..1st time menjejakkn diri di sebuah negeri bernama perak..smpi tu terus mkn..sume org tgh bz so xperasan pon ktrg smpi haha..mkn punye la byk..kenduri tu agak menarik..ade DJ yg berpantun haha..n pengantin yg lawa..aku xmelepaskn peluang amik berkat bergmbr ngn pengantin di pelamin yg sgtla meriah..ngeh3x..

esoknye btolak ke cameron kul 945 klu xslh aku..plus adik c'ah(no'on namanye)..die mbwakan watak seorg penunjuk jalan n cameragirl huhu..jalan die sgtla nauseated..dh skt blkg aku memulas stereng kiri ke kanan..tp scenery nye sgtla lawa..masyaAllah...

byk jgk aku mbeli..n semestinye byk jgk la duit yg lesap diterbangkn angin cameron yg xbape sejuk tu..gmbr xde lg la..xleh nk upload..tp yg pstinye we had a very very very great moment!!!!

thanx to family c'ah yg sudi menerima kunjungn ku yg aku kira hanye la menyusahkn n mhabeskn beras ajo..haha..tp mak c'ah kate.."ish mn ade la..dtg la lg len kali.." haha ok2 i surely will!!!!d soonest pon bulan 12 nnti kn c'ah kn hahhaa..

erm td razmi dtg bg telor n buah durian dr dusun pakciknye..melahap jom!!!(plus ade mee goreng yg br siap kami-aku n kak elis goreng...bismillah...

~hindustan dimataku~

2009-06-05T13:14:00.002+08:00

smlm aku tgk cite hindustan kt channel ABO tajuk die "Victory"..aku xkenal pon pelakon die..pelakon baru..its about a cricket player of national team (india) which has ruin his own future in d sport wen he involved in a bribe..after some time he realized his wrong-doing
and starts changing in order to pursue his dream in cricket..

its a simple and common story play but i dunno why dis things alwez happen wen it comes to hindi muvie..i get easily touched n inspired!!!siap dpt goosebumps lg..aduhai..

sbnrnye kn sjk dr kecil lg aku camtu..suke tgk hindustan..lyn gle lagu2 die..tmbh2yg sedih tu..rs mcm menusuk ke hati la org ckp..even aku bukan phm pon..smpi kn a fren of mine penah ckp "suke sgt tgk hindustan..sesuai benorla dpt g bljr india..jgn kawen ngn org india sudah.."
mak aii..nauzubillah..hahaha..

kak elis n kak aima nk blk kl ptg nnti..tgal la me all alone..tomorrow morning aku,kfid, and c'ah insyaAllah akn btolak ke umah c'ah die perak..n plannye nk g cameron on sunday..hopefully xde aral melintang la..

erm aku br siap tepon ma..diorg sume ade dlm keta on d way ke kl..nk anta kdiah ke klia..kdiah n anim nk g ireland jmpe along..flight mereka kul 9pg esok..bestnye..tp aku nk jeles pon cam xlogik sbb mmg aku xleh g pon..bukan ade cuti pon..erm xpela ade rezki nnti aku pegi la..leh bwk ma skali hihi..semoga Allah lindungi mereka..insyaAllah..(n bwk blk byk hadiah utk aku!!!!hehe)

~complexnye perasaan seorg manusia~

2009-06-03T21:58:00.002+08:00

seorg teman yg baru aku kenali wrote to me..about how he is damn serious about being single until its time wen he found sumbody n straight away marry her..terfikir sebentar..
adakah aku mbuatkn die rs dat im expecting sumtin from him which i neva terfikir pon b4 dis..ikhlasnye aku berkwn dgnnye hanya Allah yg tau..

sbnrnye its not dat easy to scrub away dis 1 person which is craved in my heart...not now..bukan dlm ms tdekat ni..erm pk psl perasaan ni buat kite jadi letih kn..

hendak membaca tp sgtla xde mood..knape kamu ruin my gud mood???ish..btol2 kena studi esok ade pbl ngn veena..

aku sgtla mencuba sedaya upaya utk tidak mpermainkn hati org around me..sgt hendak menjaga d way i talk d way i mix up wif them..

aku mntk maaf..xberniat nk mainkn perasaan kamu..thanx sbb sudi lupakan sumenye..

~kezaliman pakcik bas n kemalangan nasibku~

2009-06-01T09:37:00.002+08:00

aku br smpi dr klntn pukul 915 pg td..menyebabkn aku skip kls pg..nk tau ape yg tjadi??klu xnk tau pon aku nk cite jgk..tepat pukul 5 pagi waktu malaysia bas yg kunaiki iaitu bas budaya trip A pasir puteh-melaka telah mengalami 1 kemalangn yg sgt dahsyat..merempuh 9 ekor lembu yg sedang tido di tgh highway..5 drpd nye mati n 4 lagi cedera teruk seperti patah kaki n sebagainye sehingga kn ustaz kg tu mengarahkn supaya diadakan penyembelihan emergency..
bas tu pon mengalami kecederaan yg xkurang teruknye..pecah bumper depan,lampu, n cermin tepi..di samping tu ade la secalit dua tahi lembu di cermin depan bas..lps tu pasukan RELA dtg mjlnkn siasatan..lps cek all d lembu yg terdampar..die masuk dlm bas n tanye if anybody injured..aku dgn smgtnye menjawab..'takde!!'..lps tu die tanye lg..'ade sape2 yg mengandung ke..ade mslh kesihatan ke..?'.....aku jgk yg mjwbnye..'takde tuan..'hahaha..semangat sbb xpenah ckp ngn RELA..erm lps tu bas tu xleh bergerak la sbb xde lmpu..so sume org terpaksa la menunggu hari cerah..
dijadikn cerita..tmpt kejadian tu opposite sebuah surau..tetiba azan subuh kedengaran..sume org terdiam..syahdu sgt..dgn angin sejuk yg bertiup smpi ke tulang..seperti dh lama xdgr azan subuh yg sgt clear..insaf sekejap..semoga org lain dlm bas tu pon sama..kami pon turun la mengerjakn solt subuh bersama2..
erm itu la pengalamn yg xdpt aku lupakan ngeh3x..tp disbbkn tu aku xsmpt pegi kls memandangkn kls aku kt muar..tp aku bhjt nk pegi kls ptg ni..ade tutorial tajuk
'varicose vein'..

abah baru call ngn risonye..jgn risau semua org..bayani slmt..alhamdulillah..

~1st wiken in surgery~

2009-05-23T14:56:00.003+08:00

aku kepenatan..ketiadaan tenaga..1 week of surgery has used up all of my energy..pg td shud be got paeds class..n as planned i was happily sleeping while everybody dok dlm kls..seb baek dpt attendan..thanx to gurp..
td kuar lunch ngn jero n c'ah..jero ni bdk mrsm aku dulu..kt mrsm xpenah ckp pon..tp skang cam baik plak..itu la yg pelik psl frenship ni..once u start it br u noe how much u need a fren in ur life..ktrg mkn kt asam pedas(tmpt yg diperkenalkn oleh jijul)..bg aku sdp la..sbb xpedas sgt ngeh3x..
mlm smlm adlh my last nite kt a&e hosp muar..and at last i manage to do my 1st branula(masukkan jarum dlm vein utk msk ubat or normal saline) successfully..n God knows how overjoyed am i bcoz of dat..
smlm(22/5/09) adlh besday namia yg ke 25 klu xslh aku huhu..
erm ape lg yg jadi smlm ek??owh ma tepon aku sbb aku dh lama xkol die..tp ckp kejap je sbb aku kt dlm a&e time tu..
owh 21/5/09 ialah burfday hyuuga..aku dh wish die tru msg tp die xrep pon..xtau la die dpt ke x msg tu..
td jero ckp dh ramai kwn2 ktrg yg nk kawen n tunang..wen is my time??ntah la..am i actually thinking bout dat??naahhh..xmungkin la..

ini la rupa nye slps branula dimasukkan..

~ari penting~

2009-05-19T22:31:00.002+08:00

smlm genap 23 thn sejak hari aku dilahirkn ke muka bumi..byk bnda jd dulu time ma ngndungkn aku..ma mmg mkn ocp(contraceptive pills)..xpenah tgal lps lahirkn anim aku..lps tu tetiba bila ma amenorrhea slm 2 bulan lebih ma pegi cek doktor..dan disahkn ma mengandung 2 bulan(aku la bayi di dlm perut itu)..so doktor tu ckp..
"bayi awk ni kemungkinan besar cacat sbbnye kesan drpd pill perancang yg awk mkn tu..so sy nasihatkn awk gugurkn je la..lg pon bayi ni br 2 bulan.."
ma n abah punye la tkejut bila dgr pkataan gugur tu..aku pon seriau bila ma cerita..den abah dgn tegasnye bkata.."xpayah la nk gugurkn..klu Tuhan nk buat die cacat nk buat cemana kite redha je la.."dan dgn itu la aku slmt dilahirkn..sadiskn??hampir2 digugurkn tuuu..

erm ari ahad yg lps iaitu 17hb diorg wat surprise for my besday dkt kfc..antara teman2 yg terlibat:
kak aima,kak elis,farid,razmi,jijul,rahim,lokman,oleen,c'ah,khairun,fiza,mail,pakwan,kak eza,akram,marie..
erm beribu2 penghargaan kpd teman2 semua..sgtla terharu!!!dan thanx jgk buat teman2 yg lain yg wish n ingt besday ku itu..

td aku kuar ngn member aku..die ade meeting kt tm ayer keroh..we went for a dinner kt ikan bakar..(sbb die teringin nk g umbai)..dh lama xjmpe die..agak lama la..rindu plak..rs cam byk bnda lg nk cerita2 tp xsmpt masa sbb die naik bas kul 10..esok die keje...nk aje aku suh die stay kt sini for a while..xpela..ade rezeki leh jmpe lg..
teringt kt puisi yg sedih..jom berjiwang:

so long..
long gone..
you n me..
listen to d sound of your breathing
staring at every part of u without u realize..
n closing my eyes upon ur smell..
i feel calm..
holding my hands tight
before they starts crawling onto you without noticing..
juz enjoying d moments spent with u..
hoping dat i cud hold u
feel ur breath touching my skin
like d gud old days..
maybe..
i still love you..

~bayani's life distress syndrome~

2009-05-16T22:54:00.002+08:00

xde pape pon yg jd..but sumtimes at 1 point of time in our life we feel so distress..so much dat we show no emotion wen people are smiling n we even cry wen people are laughing!!!(too much rite??..)

smlm i finished my medicine posting by writing craps in my mcq n ospe papers..huh..life seems like 'never gonna change'..sejurus slps itu encik hyuuga bertandang ke melaka..lalu aku n c'ah pon kuar la to welcome him..he came wif his fren n his fren's family(i tell u its a big one haha)..mksd aku penuh la keta diorg..ktrg g mkn kt secret recipe mp n sightseeing kt a famosa n muzium kesultanan melayu melaka..(never noe dat those kind of places can be so interesting sumtimes..)skjp je..over d afternoon..say around 11 to 3..lps tu he need to go rush back to kl(biasela ikut org kn..)so he said he'll come back some other time and spend longer time wif us..

antara cite2 yg aku layan over d weekend ni---->

angels n demon
star trek
ghost(series kt 8tv)

starting from next monday i'll be torturing myself in d hands of surgery department for 2 months..n next week is my nite posting week(meaning i hv to stay back at muar hosp until 9pm)..tiring(sumtin which is most expected)..really hope i can survive well dis 2-hectic-month of surgery..wat every medical students of mmmc is afraid of..

rs mcm nk g pantai..breathe..and breathe..

~it's may~

2009-05-14T14:45:00.002+08:00

bulan may..tiap thn pd bulan may aku akn alert sbb ramai sgt org yg aku knl burfday nye pd bulan may..yg plg ramai skali adlh mmber2 aku kt matrik penang dulu..sbbnye dkt matrik tu kami was grouped according to our birth date..so boleh kate sume org dlm praktikum aku tu gadis2 n jejaka2 may..dh lama xjmpe sume org..rindu plak..teringt zaman2 kt matrik yg penuh suke duke huhu..mcm mane la agaknye sume org skang..msti dh lain kn..
pastu in addition ade burfday naga,abg kipas,n namia(adakah ini suratan atau kebetulan haha)..

sbnrnye aku ade ward work ptg ni tp aku self-declared-leave huhu melarikn diri dr muar n naik bas tgh hari..smlm aku end posting medicine..did not went quite well im afraid..ntahla..its a simple case-hepatosplenomegaly(which i did diagnose) but i feel somewat disappointed wif my own performance for d short case..hurmm..esok ade osce n mcq..really hope i can cover up for yesterday's dumbness..
dis morning we had long case wif prof choo(very very very stimulating)..n short case wif dr chua(haha aku la yg spoil kn nama grup aku)..

ok la i better go n grab some books..

knape???

2009-05-10T14:00:00.002+08:00

why do women cry??
why do women tend to do sumtin which 'll make 'em cry??
why do women alwez love sumone who does not love 'em??
why do women alwez put a hope in sumtin hopeless??
in the end..they juz cry..and cry..
why do women cry??
it is a weapon dat Allah has equipped each women with..
for 'em to use it whenever needed..
can i use it now??coz i really need it..

~smile never last forever~

2009-05-10T01:20:00.002+08:00

i wonder why do i stay up until dis late at nite...is it only becoz of him??terasa buduh la plak..dh lama feel so stupid n dumb actually..but cannot help it..smpi bila pon xtau la..i hope cpt2 la aku grad tglkn dunia yg penuh pmainan emosi ni..hdpi real life n pndg ke hdpn..
kdg2 i realize dat there is some part of me yg still hoping for sumtin which is beyond possible..n i seriously hate dat part..

erm along dh blk ireland pg td..bulan 10 ni kot die blk lg..utk raya..tp xsure lg katanye..td i called mom..miss her..di saat2 ini..tp xsmpt ckp byk sbb abes kedit..dh topup tp xtepon blk sbb im sure she dh tido..

there is some saying that people who write are people who are lonely..am i??
xla..

ini rupenye kehidupan..

2009-05-08T23:59:00.002+08:00

aku br abes tgk x-men origin wolverine..best jgk..
2 3 ari ni byk bnda jd..result diorg nye suplemen dh kuar..kak elis pass tp farid x..kesedihan tu cam sgt teruk smpikn sume org merasainye..tmasukla kami,teman2 farid,family die apatah lg,n family kak elis jgk..satu berita yg sgt mengejutkn n boleh kata sgt xlogik n xterfkir oleh sape2 pon..farid-seorg laki yg tinggi,sgt baik,n sgt pandai..tp mungkin rezeki xmenyebelahinye kali ni..tentunye ade hikmah di sebalik segalanye..

aku tgh chat ngn namia..gelak sorg2 di mlm yg sepi hehe..

membaca kata2mu..
membayangkn tawamu..
cukupla..
aku bahagia..

~alhamdulillah..selesai sudah..~

2009-05-04T22:31:00.005+08:00

aku tgh melihat kembali gmbr2 time hari pertunangan along sabtu lalu..erm majlis yg xterlalu ringkas n xterlalu complex..adat2 tetap terjaga..sgt menarik memandangkn ni la kali pertama aku menyaksikan n also involved in such an event..
ramai jgk sanak sedara yg hadir pd hari itu..agak ketat la rumah ku yg xberapa besar tuh..tp alhamdulillah sume bnda bjln dgn lncar n semoga diberkati..
..moh kite tgk gmbr moh..

menunggu dgn debaran ngeh3x

ketibaan pihak lelaki

sesi rundingan

ibu asyarul memakaikn rantai

abah menyarungkn cincin

drpd pihak perempuan

drpd pihak lelaki

selesai acara

itu la bnda termanis yg terjadi dlm sejarah keluarga kami dlm masa tdekat ni..dijangkakan xlama lg ma n abah nk dpt menantu hehe..
ini yg terasa nk kawen jgk ni(gelenya plak)..sape nk volunteer??!!hehe

its holiday!!!!

2009-04-30T18:37:00.002+08:00

aku tgh tgu taxi come n pick me up..kami mahu ke melaka sentral n naik bus ke klntn pd pukul 8 mlm nnti hehe sgt la bahagia terasa diriku ini..xsbr dh nk smpi umah..jmpe sume org kt umah..homesick sguh aku ni..
pd hari sabtu ini insyaAllah along ku akn melangsungkn pertunangnnye..part of d reason why aku blk..sume org excited tp along ketakutan n kekonfiusan..i guess everyone yg planning for future will feel d same way kot..hope xde pape jd la..erm utk pengetahuan sume beg aku amatla berat..tidak terkira..mcm mane ntah nk pikul nih..sah2 skt blkg..
erm ok la..itu je..nk tutup laptop dh ni..hepi holiday everybody!!enjoy!!!

apakah??apakah??!!

2009-04-26T22:48:00.003+08:00

kepenatan keteramatan..wat a weekend...im so so thrilled..(we are huhu)..anim n along dh blk td..aku n kak elis pegi anta mereka di lcct..flight along blk kb kul 915 mlm..
antara xtvt ktrg- pegi naik muzium kapal(aku sgt suke sbb byr rm3 je n best jgk
naik menara taming sari(byr rm10 for nothing)
pegi spa buat facial(rm55 for 2 hours..how to say ek..i LOVE it huhu)
mkn ikan bakar kt umbai(anim yg teringin sgt ni..but we enjoyed our meal as we turn into monsters haha)
blk chalet tido...
esoknye..
mndi pantai di pagi hari..best gle..
pegi shopping dkt dtrn pahlwn n mahkota parade(agak penuh la tgn kami dgn brg2..n agak ringan la wallet masing2 slps itu haha)
pulang ke rumah ku utk bersihkn diri n terus btolak ke lcct pd pukul 530 lebih kurang

setibanye di lcct kami parking n turun utk mencari sesuap mknn..ramai jgk org di situ time tu n agak bingit rasanye..sdg mcari tmpt mkn tu tetiba kak elis ckp, 'ehhh...'.......lalu aku pon memandang ke arah yg sama..ternmpk 1 figure yg agak2 dlm 10meter jauhnye...i noe him..oh yes of coz i do..NAMIA..tetiba je i feel like the 'bingit' juz now has become silent..n at d same time my heart stops beating..almost 5 seconds..den i can hear my own heart beat..den d noise came back..
aku cam tsedar dr lamunan..terus lambai kt die and beredar(so dat my point of vision will not be fixed on him any longer)terus lps tu aku jd blur..mcm org bodoh je..xtau nk buat ape..

he is d one dat tore my heart apart..into pieces..until a point dat i cant bear it anymore..my heart is paining..so much..he is sumtin dat bayani cant get in her life..its been hurting myself too much since then dat i feel like opening my chest and stich it up,make some quick prayer n make it turn to normal..

wat do i feel now at dis moment------> dunno..i miss him..maybe...
do i love him?? ------> sudah gaharu cendana pula
do i want to forget him ------> been trying very hard..nobody can ever imagine
wat did u do to forget him ------> keep thinking about him every now n then hoping dat i'll get bored one day...(never hapen yet)
so wat r u planning to do now? ------> juz let it be..cant do nthin to make myself any better pon..

on no shoulder Allah put a burden dat she/he cannot bear..

i can still handle dis..make me strong plz dear Allah..ameen..

~feel sooo happy!!!~

2009-04-25T00:35:00.003+08:00

baru siap solt isyak..baru tenang sket rasa..aku dh siapkn almost half of my clerkship diary(mcm buku report la yg kami kena completekn semasa medicine posting)..

tomoro is going to be my happy day(i hope) coz my along n anim(my 1st and 2nd sister) are going to come here to spend d weekend wif me!!!huhu wat else in d world cam make me super duper excited like dis..
td aku dh pegi book chalet..shah's beach resort..sgtla ramai org kat ctu..tp aku rs itu la chalet yg plg best i've ever been to..sgt di maintain kelawaan nye..
jadual utk esok..morning 830 aku kak elis n farid(senior aku jgk) akn pegi pick up my sisters kt lcct..lps tu mbawa haluan masing2..mereka hendak ke kl maka aku n kakak2 ku terus blk ke melaka so dat we can check in by2 pm..
aku dh basuh kereta n isi minyak td..ready for tomoro's journey..hehe..mntk2 sgt xde pape yg jadi..ameen..semoga percutian kami adik beradik ni diberkati Allah n dilindungi oleh-Nya..insyaAllah..
erm pg td aku g dental clinic kt poliklinik peringgit..utk filling kn my incisor..n d result is quite impressive..but the sensitivity(ngilu) persists till now..
aku dh pack kn my things utk dibawa esok..hehe semangat bukan?..

td iwe kol aku..die tu member aku kt mrsm jeli dulu..tp skang je la br jd mmbr..dulu slalu nmpk tp xpenah ckp pon..kami dr 2 dunia berbeza huhu..xde ckp psl pape pon..bnda2 mengarut..ckp2 gelak2..he really made my day..
erm i tink i shud stop now and get to sleep..supaya esok xbgn lmbt..

::thanx kak elis n farid sbb sudi menemani::

~ari yg penuh kekecewaan~

2009-04-20T20:03:00.003+08:00

sepanjang mgu ni we are out of bounds from d hosp..so we gonna hv our class in d campus only..sadly things changed tetiba we need to go to tangkak hosp for thursday and friday morning session..(it is a 1 hr-journey from here)..td bljr ecg ngn sgt detailnye ngn dr bashir..he taught us kaw2 punye dat we may not need to refer to louis hampton anymore(ecg book)..quite tiring but relieving dat somehow at last i noe sumtin about how to read an ecg(slm ni rs cam bodoh je sume org leh baca aku tnganga je)..
erm pg td suz called me..asking me about causes of hematuria(blood in the urine)..he wanted me to list them out..last nite also we talked over the phone for almost half an hour i tink..nothing much..about things around him..and stuff like dat..wat i remembered most was "i juz want to tell u dat i still miss u"..erm i got stunned and speechless at d same time..did not answer anything..erm life can be so entangling sometimes..i asked myself..am i happy??or the opposite?i seriously dunno how to react..coz few days ago i checked out his frenster(as i alwez do)he got so many girls' name on his comment box..at d back of my mind i say"dis guy is definitely moving on.."but what i dun understand is why is he kept telling me those words if he actually thinking of some other thing..confusing..

i decided to not to think about it..

td naga msg me tru ym..he said he want to call me and ask for my favour..but cant think of any favour that i can do for him..erm..we'll see how la tonite..

mcm cerita matahari la plak..so many guys around me but none is mine hahaha..lawak2..td kak elis belikn mknn dr psr mlm..hungry kya??!!hehe..melahap jom..

~d heaviest but greatest weekend ever!!~

2009-04-20T00:01:00.012+08:00

aku br siap tgk cite a man town..cite psl seorg lelaki yg sgt ego n xpenah tau psl how pathetic he is..his wife slept with his client and he was having so much problem in his work due to his 'hot-temper'..at the end of the story he started realizing about the things dat happened..are all his fault..den he get back with his wife..forgiving her and quit his job as well..starting a new life..best jgk..

erm kisah ari ni..aku n teman2 pegi ke hutan lipur gunung ledang pd pukul 9 pagi lebih kurang..antara ahli2 rombongan-na,c'nat,akram,marie,am,afie,syam,iwa,jijul,rahim and aku..kami bertolak dgn menaiki 3 buah kereta..myvi,wira and kancil(promote buatan malaysia haha)..perjalann mengambil masa lebih kurg sejam stgh..d place was so nice and peaceful..we settled down in one of the area and start menyerang air terjun hehe..we brought so much food and drinks..(credits to jijul who had successfully prepared our breakfast-sandwich and our lunch-fried meehoon)..and i tell u d food was awesome..
lps zohor bertolak blk..agak penat tp sgtla best..dh lama x spend time together cam td..den bila aku blk kak elis dh smpi umah..parents die pon ade skali..
lets take a look at d pictures!!!

time baru smpi

bermandi manda..

nk blk dh ni(baju masih basah)

sket je gmbr yg ade..ini dr cam pakwan..selebihnye ade kt cam c'nat..
erm di bwh ni plak gmbr cowboy town smlm..

~penat jgk~

2009-04-18T23:28:00.002+08:00

aku br blk..pegi afamosa resort-cowboy town..ktrg(aku,c'nat,kfid,fiza,iwa)bertolak pd pukul 545 ptg dgn menaiki keta kfid..ikut highway kl and den amik exit simpang ampat..xdela ssh sgt mencari tmptnye..aku agak berterima kasih kpd mereka yg menjemputku utk turut serta sbb diorg ade tiket free so aku xpyh la byr tiket msk yg berharga rm35 (klu xsilap aku la)..
ktrg kuar skjp ke bandar tampin utk mencari tmpt mkn n tmpt solt..slps solt kami masuk blk ke sana utk mengikuti program seperti berikut:

830 pm red indian show
900 pm musical parade @ carnival street
945 pm firework display

selesai sume tu dh dkt kul 10 mlm..sbnrnye aku nk tgk 4D theatre tp kena byr klu nk masuk-rm20 per person..xnk aku..mahal sgt terasa amat tidak berbaloi..
pas tu iwa pegi naik bungee jumping..menarik!!hehe tp kami yg lain memutuskn utk melihat shj iwa yg excited..(sbnrnye kami yg lain amatla ketakutan haha)..
lps tu blk la..n smpi umah kul 11 lebih dh rsnye...

esok plan ke ledang diteruskn even mlm ni dh terasa penat..semasa aku di sana td die menelefon ku bertanyakn aku di mane..dgn suara yg agak tidak puas ati..kemudian blk td aku mdpt tahu bahawa die sbnrnye pegi tgk wayang...1 soalan timbul di benakku..adakah aku harus mberitahunye ke mane shj aku pergi??!!perlukah??die bukan la teman istimewaku utk aku menceritakn atau lebih tepat aku katakn meminta izin utk ke mane2...timbul rs xpuas ati dlm diriku..knape die harus meletakkn aku dlm posisi yg aku sndri tidak selesa??sdgkn die sng aje ke mane2 tnpa mberitahu ku sepatah pon..bukan bmaksud aku mau die mberitahuku ttg kehidupan hariannye akan tetapi die amatla tidak patut utk mbuat aku begitu..ingin aku tegaskn di sini..aku memilih utk bersendiri kerana aku lagi selesa hidup tnpe kongkongan dr sesiapa..kenapa die tidak mengerti??yg kami ini hanyelah kwn sama seperti mane aku berkawan sama teman2 yg lain..yg mane aku membicarakn hal2 yg aku rskn perlu sahaja..kenapa perlu memaksa perasaan seseorg??aku hargai die sebagai kawan biase...tapi jika die menginginkan yg lebih drpd itu, maafkan kiranye aku katakn tidak usahla kite berkwn lg..
namun mengapa sume kata2 ini tidak terlafaz dr bibirku..hanye mmpu ku omongkn dlm hati n menaipnye ke atas blog yg diyakini tidak dijenguk oleh sesiapa..kenapa aku sgt mjaga hati n perasaan seseorg sehinggakn aku sgup hidup dlm keadaan yg tidak selesa..duhai teman jika kau terbaca coretan hati ini,lpskn la aku..lpskn aku dr genggaman persahabatanmu yg nyata tersembunyi niat lain di hatimu..

pagi td tidurku dikejutkn oleh 1 panggilan dr suz..sguh sayu rsnye hatiku..sekian lama tidak mdgr suaranye..tiba2 die hadir..bagai mimpi dlm sedar..apakah yg bermain di hatiku??nyata perasaan yg dulu udah lama terkubur dan hilang..akan tetapi bekasnye sukar utk kulenyapkn..mungkin masa shj yg kuperlukan..erm kudoakn kau bahagia dgn hisupmu yg baru..dan semoga diriku juga akan menemui bahagiaku yg sejati dan abadi..

###kenape aku sgt skema mlm ni??huhu hati..hati...###

~my 1st ABG~

2009-04-17T17:49:00.003+08:00

arterial blood gas(ABG) analysis is done by taking heparinized blood either from radial,brachial or femoral artery and pH,Pa CO2 and Pa O2 are measured using an automated analyser..it is different from venopuncture as it requires the needle to be placed at a 90degree angle..

i've seen it before but i never did it myself..and today i was quite fortunate to be given a chance of doing it on an ill patient..before this i used to observe them(the houseman) doing it on the radial artery..but today is a bit different as we are withdrawing the blood from femoral artery..
i can feel the pulse..i can say it was bounding..high volume..at the back of my mind i was thinkin..wen i poke the blue needle inside i can hear the houseman was telling me"just push it further inside.." i did as asked to..surprisingly and sadly i did't hapen to hit any vessel!!!wen i pull the syringe also there was not even a tinge of blood seen..huh..bad..so bad..and at the same time the patient was moaning in pain..
i pull out the needle and hand it to the houseman..after a couple of times trying(pulling and pushing)..she also failed..and we decided to leave the patient alone..

but im not giving up..i'll o it again next time..actually the houseman ask me to come tonight because she is on call and she said she'll give me chance to do any procedure dat i want..but u noe me(im not dat rajin)..tp cam best je..erm..

my along will be coming back home this sunday..i cant wait to see her..but i'll be going back home only next month..miss her..miss everybody at home as well..im too tired..berehat sbntr..

~can't wait for weekend to come~

2009-04-16T18:23:00.003+08:00

aku tgh ngdap laptop sambil chatting ngn nizam..classmate aku kt matrik dulu..die ni leh kate topper la dkt skolah aku..2 2 sem dpt 4 flat..erm tp dulu aku cam xpenah ckp pon ngn die..(die yg sombong haha)..erm skang die dh jd final year medical student dkt ukm..cool rite..
jmpe blk dkt frenster..die dh lain la skang..tinggi sket..erm muke nmpk dewasa sket la huhu..and d most important thing is he's no more a nerdy...hihi..basically we talked about our life as a medic student..but feels like we are on the extreme..im d worse example and him being on the other end haha..tp ape2 la its gud to hear sumtin from him..
my day in d hosp today was not very pleasant..quite bad i wud say..we're supposed to hv our long case presentation in d morning n it was nava on the list..den i went around seeking for procedure(and i manage to do 2 ecg reading)..so aku xclerk la case..and it so happen dat tetiba ahmed sayyed menjengah dlm ward 3-2 and terus ke row katil aku..and start asking for diagnosis..ape lagi aku mati di tmpt kejadian la..terus kena halau.."den go away from here..u didn't do ur work!!"..pdhl org lain xamik case jgk..sama je..tp org lain tu dilayan mcm anak emas die..huh..is dis called bad luck or is it juz bayani's luck(since it happens multiple times alredy)..knape aku cpt benci org..hatred is like a thorn within ur heart muscle..u leave it there..it'll b silent at first but later it will turn to b an abscess..cant cure it any well then..ape2 la..semoga esok dh xde perasaan camni..
tonite aku hjt nk kuar..feel so suffocated in my own house..plus im hungry hihi..
esok kdiah(my sister) nk g perlis katanye..asyik berjalan aje kejenye..cam best je idup die..erm hopefully xde pape jd la..
hujung minggu ni..aku and teman2 dr mmmc batch 17 plan nk g picnic kt air terjun gunung ledang..erm nice rite..nnti aku update kn kt sini wat happen..
nk g mndi n solt..

~kebosanan~

2009-04-15T16:37:00.000+08:00

aku br blk dr dataran..bersama marie n che ah..erm talking about 'em ni...we used to be gud frens back then..very gud i mean..i know che ah since form 4 in mrsm jeli..and i met with marie for the first time in uitm..and ultimately the 3 of us gathered together dkt india..it so happen that we dunno anyone else except each other time tu..so dat brings us together kot..we were so close and boley kate leaning on one another di tmpt yg asing..i love the bond btwn us..
but not so long after dat,lot of things changed..wat i remember was rite after marie met with akram and their relationship getting closer and at the same time ours getting farther..erm but actually we dun hv big problems btwn us pon cume things hapen yg mbuatkn masing2 xnk kaco masing2..itu kt india la..

lps blk ke melaka ni lain plak jdnye..semua duk rumah lain2..n worse is posting dh xsama grup..kebizian setiap saat mbuatkn kami lg la berjauhan(socially i mean)..so boley kate dh lama la kami xkeluar bertiga..best la..menyingkap kembali kngn lalu hihi..

aku dh start buat report and i assure u im going to finish up 2 of my reports by d end of d day..hahaha..
aku tgh layan lagu good charlotte-the truth..syuk yg bg kt email pg2 lg..katenye.."lagu utk org yg ke'frust'an"..haha enjoy je..

~wat bayani's doing at 1am 140409~

2009-04-15T00:55:00.000+08:00

ding dong..1 am..my eyes are obviously partially open.."sket je lg",telling myself..and my finger kept doing their works as being told..running tru all d keypads..searching for d rite words..
and at this moment im officially publishing my so called blog..to be displayed like other blogs from other bloggers..
today i felt like a real,total loser..

hv kept all my books in front of my 2 eyes..hoping dat by any chance i glimpse at 'em and maybe pick 1 of 'em and maybe try to go tru some of the words written in it..---->hopeless..

plan of going out tonite since tomorrow happens to be my day-off..---->end up eating mee goreng adabi in front of the tv..

i hv 3 pending medicine case reports to be completed..---->still 3 of 'em are there without even patient profile's column being filled up..

huh what is so great in making ur own life so slobby and pathetic??!!come on bayani..give urself a slap and start holding a pen and strain ur eyes on some books..NOW!!!