~kami terima~

Tuhan xkn uji seseorg tu ngn bnda yg die xleh nk handle.Tuhan uji kite sbb die syg kt kite.klu kite mampu bersabar ngn ujian yg die bg,maka berganda2 la pahala yg kite dpt and suda tentu Die makin syg kt kite.alhamdulillah..dan insyaAllah ade bnda yg lg baik yg Allah jnjikn utk kite at d end of the road.(seorg teman yg comfort aku ngn kata2 neh.thanx)

aku dh ok.even kt dlm Tuhan je yg Maha tau.tp at least aku dh buleh ckp i'll be ok.i juz need some time.perasaan tu??susah nk ubah dlm waktu yg abrupt camni.tp knape nk paksa perasaan tu berubah kn?perasaan tu yg buat aku rs lg kuat.lg semangat nk terus bernafas.

aku nk btau.semua posts aku sblm ni tu mmg psl die.yg nampaknye stkt ni bukan ditakdirkn utk aku.so kami xde pape skang except try nk jd kwn biase blk.mmg susah.tp mungkin Allah dh aturkn yg lg baik utk kami.sape la kite nk lawan kuase Tuhan.moga Dia bg kami ketenangn n kekuatan nk terus jd hambaNya.

~banjir~

xsume yg kite nak kite akan dapat.tp nape sume yg aku nak aku xpenah dpt???kecewa gile ngn hidup.ssh nye utk aku bahagia.jgn tanye aku ok x.of cos la aku x ok.sume yg aku plan x jadi.sume xjadi.td aku sedih.skang aku mcm nk mrh plak.tp kn xelok plak kn.klu btol ini yg tbaik utk aku,kuatkn ati aku ya allah.sbb aku mmg xkuat.aku xtau cane nk face ari2 esok.sius aku xtau.

aku silap.silap sbb suke die.paksa die suke aku jgk.pastu syg die.gile2 plak tu.tetiba bnda ni jd.im such a bad planner.

aku xtau ape akn jd kt future aku.either aku akn jd andartu or aku kena kawen paksa.yg mn 1 lg prefer??

blog ni buat aku rs nyampah.xpatut tulis pape lg.ape yg aku tulis is juz going to be another disaster..

aku suke die.aku syg die.still...

p/s:kak elis,kak aima,sy tido umah che ah mlm ni.esok sy xnk g kls.

~knape la hai~

kul 1214 pg.ngntk.tp fikiran rs sarat sgt.pk2 blk kn..nape la aku slalu amik jln yg susah..jalan yg sng terbentang dpn mata.nk jgk amik the road not taken tuh.pastu sepanjang pjlnn sakit je..ape yg aku ngarut neh.biarla aku je yg phm.lgsg xsesuai utk direveal kn ape yg menyerabutkn kepala hotak aku nih.

td ptg kn..punye la aku mcm org xbtol g cari paper la,gunting la,gam lg.toksah dikira la bape kali buat bnda sama sbb xdpt result yg memuaskn.tup2 in d end rs cam xde hati lgsg nk bg bnda tu kt die.kesimpulannye,hadiah tu was a very bad choice..

arghh..nape sume bnda xmenjadi hari ni??pttla kenyit2 mata kiri aku dr pg.tu la org ckp jgn gelak byk2 time siang hari.mlm hari mendung menanti.nk g solt.istikharah ke 3.ya allah tlg la aku.sius buntu..

'love is not suppose to be this hard'

~day 5~

mcm xsesuai je tajuk tu..sbb.....ari ni is d end of counting!!!hehe..he's back.tp ari ni xbape best.penat mcm hape sbb smlm tido lmbt wat keje yg btimbun(even skang pon xsiap lg).pastu punye la awal g kls sbb bgn tkejut ingtkn dh lmbt.smpi2 sana xde org pon lg hampeh.to add to d bitterness,shinde lak masuk kls.as expected,life is no less than hell la.stat2 dh scold us mcm xde hari esok dh nk scold.kuar la sume bnda ayat2 power nk jatuhkn ktrg.make us feel bad(even i bet xde org yg give a damn pon ape yg die ngarut).n camtu la.class went on.gloomy i tell u.every 1 sentence yg kula present die interrupt with social issues yg yet to be settled.

ktrg wat assumption yg die jd worst den d other days yg not so worse sbb die di exempted from being an examiner for P2S2 xm which starts today.so lpskn geram la kt ktrg yg bajet xbesalah neh.aduhai.pilihan yg sgt xbaik to start ur day.so ktrg blk kul 1030pg.blk aku terus tido mls nk pk pape.rs cam xaware dh ngn surrounding sbb penat sgt.
seb baik kls ptg td ngn dr gopal.better.n sgt best.tp xtau la cane d other half of us yg dpt ngn shinde jgk for afternoon class.God save them.

erm aku ade projek nk buat nih.hihi.surprise utk die!!till then..

p/s:utk kak elis n kak aima yg xm esok,slam it girls!!

~day 4~

baru siap goreng kopok utk dijadikn kudapan smbil tgk final raja lawak.td aku ngn bdk2 ni g celeb bday syam kt JZarina.aku ngn kfid mkn nasi goreng usa share.sbb nye xrs lpr sgt.tp skang tiba2 lpr la plak.hampeh punye perut.

smlm aku xtido lgsg.mata ngntk gile tp fikiran xleh nk shut down.worse weii i tell u.skang pon ngntk lg mcm nk mati rs.(mcm la tau cane rs nk mati).diorg suh aku amik ubat batuk.mslhnye aku bukan xngntk.ngntk cume xleh tido.mslh besar sguh.mmg kena g amik zolpidem kalu gini.

erm raja lawak dh stat.esok die balik.cptla blk tgk kwn kamu yg dh xbape btol neh.haha.erm yg psti hari ni lg baik dr smlm.penantian tu sius menyeksakn weii..

p/s:hepi burfday syam..

~day 3~

dh kul 1247 pg.tp mata cam xleh lelap je.xrs ngntk pon.adekah sbb dh tido ptg td or byk sgt bnda yg dipikirkn smpi xleh tido???ntah..
erm ari ni bgn quite awal sbb dh niat nk tepon ma di pg hari.tp kjp je ckp dh abes kdt,last2 skali ma yg kol blk huhu.xsbr nk blk umah.btol2 rindukn ma.td ckp ngn adik."kyani blk bilo?",tanye adik.."2 mgu lg dik",jwbku.."lmbtnye lg..",adik kate.terus rs sedih.dh lama xtgk adik waaa..

td aku g jusco ngn che ah.hjtnye nk shoping kasut.ari tu nmpk kasut cantik kt vincci.nk beli tp ms tu nk g tgk wyg cam leceh la plak nk bwk kasut kn.td g tgk dh abes dh pattern tu.dh ade yg lain yg aku xberkenan sgt.so mcm xworth it plak beli.tetiba tnpa dirancg bdk nama suzaley kate die ade kt melaka sentral.so aku ajak la die dinner skali ngn aku n c'ah.ntah la ape yg jd lps tu mbuatkn aku rs xsdp hati.ntah.xtau.sius xtau.tp hati kate mls nk pk.tp kepala otak ni asik pk je.xtau la ape yg dipikirknnye.

ari ke 3 terasa lg heavy dr hari ke 2.cptla abes pengiraan hari ni.mcm penat je.nk g solt n tido.sius mls pk.ya Allah mudahknla segalanye..
p/s:rs cam kena solt istikharah je.tp x terlambat ke ek??

~day 2~

not a very gud day.presentation yg sux hanye disbbkn slide aku xcantik.she said 'its not supposed to be bullet,no bullet before dash,u remove dat bullet'..basically sbb aku yg buta IT nih xreti nk create a very nice slide to be presented to her la.so bcoz of dat she said my presentation was not gud at all.despite of my history n xm yg i kira dh ok n clear.such a nuisance.rs cam xberbaloi tido kul 230 pg n bgn kul 630 pg semata2 utk dikomen psl dat shit bullet.*did i juz say shit??sorry..

dat itself has been enuf to make me hating the start of my day.tp thank God ade savior haha.rs cam nk paste je kt sini wat msg yg i received.tp cam xmhormati die la plak kn.hihi.

tp nk cite jgk.last nite i was so lost n my eyes almost got blurred by tears.den i went to luah perasaan kt my osmet.after about 15min of 'brainwashing' and even 'cloroxing' den i realised who is at fault.put aside my ego which beats d height of a mountain, believe it or not,case has been refererred to muhamad amir.(mcm suke plak type nama nih haha) and guess wat..problems solved(at least as far as i noe la).and God knows how much better i felt after that.sbb tu la kul 12 br nk start wat slide and all d consequences as above.

kak aima ckp sy di awang awangan.che ah ckp sy tipu diri sndri.farah ckp give it a try.kesimpulannye..sy setuju ngn sume org.at first after so long..im smiling..-THANX AWK-

~day 1~

1st day after he left...


stare at those roses not less than 10 times/24hrs, each is approx 5 mins.

check my phone every 10 mins(or even less)

open his fb continuously without fail(even if there is nothin new to b seen)

read up his msg over and over again since 6/2/10 until 3/3/10(despite being in hosp
or even in class)

plus: everybody around me today smells like him

i mistaken one of the patient in the ward as him(look similar from far but definitely not)

current status: conscious,alert but most of the time..LOST..
prognosis: 50% survival rate after 1 week,30% survival rate after 2 weeks
plan of management: cont observation.refer to muhamad amir if symptoms persist or getting worse.

~aduhai~

aku baru siap msk dinner.menu hari ini: udang goreng masak kunyit(btol ke nama die ni huhu),nasi goreng bodoh,ikan kering hangit.eh plus air teh o ais.laparnye..nk mkn tp nk tgu nora n kak aima blk dr swiming dulu.

selsema turun naik.batuk xbenti.kepala makin panas.symptoms worse at night.and getting worse wen he's not around hehe..mengarut je tuh.miss my mommy..siusly cptla cuti.nk blk umah.rindu gile kt ma.n adik jgk..

mcm lmbt lg je nora nk blk.nk g mkn dulu ngn kak elis.hehe..sori nora.

p/s:drive safely.n blk cpt haha

~untuk awk~

sy kan..xtau ape yg sy rs skang.pg td kn..rs mcm teringt sgt.knape yer?sudah jatuh ke?mcm xlogik je.sbb cpt sgt utk jatuh.another mainan perasaan kot.
tp kn..klu jatuh..slh ke?xkot kn.sbnrnye sy pon xpasti ape yg sy rs.klu awk tanye ape yg sy rs skang musti sy xleh bg jwpn jgk kt awk.byk bnda yg sy pk tau wak.pk psl ma psl abah.tu part family sy je..family awk blom pk lg tuh.
mungkin sy xptt ckp pape buat ms skang.sy suke kwn ngn awk.ley ke klu kite teruskn je kwn camni.xyah pk pape skang?

ape yg plg sy pk skang adlh mcm mane ma n abah akn pndg awk nnti.awk kena tau ma n abah sy ssh sket bab2 kwn ni.tp klu ape2 pon yg jd msti awk leh handle kn.sy tau awk kuat.bila ngn awk sy xrs takut.rs secure.
ape2 pon 1 je yg sy doa..klu btol awk utk sy,moga dipermudahkn semuanye.klu bukan pon moga dipermudahkn jgk.awk tlg amin kn jgk ye.

ok la wak.mcm xsesuai je awk pegi keje jauh2 skang.xpela.dh nama keje kn.awk sila la smbg keje.sy nk pegi kls ni.dh lmbt.babai wak..