no break

sejak akhir2 ni bizi sguh hidupku.dh 4 mgu kot xde kt melaka time weekend.n by dat i mean xpenah nk dpt rehat yg secukupnye(put aside excessive sleep during weekdays kn).
start ngn blk raya haji.pastu g anta keta kt kl.den g amik keta mgu dpnnye.n ari tu blk umah anim kawen.ingtkn mgu ni dh bleh berehat menikmati udara pagi sabtu di melaka.tp mlgnye in short notice kena rush blk pahang sbb pakcik plak nk kawen.fuhh..heavy loads on my energy.

esok ade end posting psy.tup2 dh 3 mgu dh berlalu.ntahla to wat extent my brain gathers info on psy during dis duration.rs cam kosong n cetek je.spt biase..gamble!!!

td ternmpk seseorg.terus aku palingkn muka ke arah nora n ask "nora,tu die kn..blkg i" nora said "yes."..
huh kate dh 'benci'.kate 'suda tiada hati'.abih tu menempek di sliding door tiap kali _ _ _ _ _ tu knape?????
konklusinye,ini adlh sebahagian dr defense mechanism exerted by bayani tu pull herself together evritime its needed.

"wat do u tink of nik aziz?"

08/12/09..
psychiatric opd.emil kreplin room.

xavier: for me the best party in this country is PAS.it is the only party dat takes a very gud
care of rakyat's need.the best in ruling and most importantly the most HONEST
party.i believe if they are given the power to rule,great changes are going to hapen
to malaysia.this is my observation.even im not a muslim, i dare to say this!!coz dis is
d truth..

sesi memperkenalkn diri bermula..

xavier: nurbayani wat do u tink of nik aziz??

..silence..

nurbayani: he is...such a great leader..(dgn jujur n ikhlas)

xavier: thank you..(with a big smile on his face)

lu pk la sndri..hehe

~abg polis~

peristiwa jmpa abg polis yg bersejarah itu xkn kulupakn..teringt kembali detik2 berjalan ke arah gerai pakcik goreng pisang.nmpk sekumpulan polis2 tgh melahap(haha).rupenye slh sorg tu adlh abg polis yg ktrg jmpe kt balai polis ari tu..die la yg amik statement dr shydee psl kad atm nye yg hilang.bila aku pndg die die sengih..kenal lg la nmpknye haha..

n dat has bring us to cerita yg benar2 ingin ku ceritakn.weekend ari tu aku ke kl anta keta kt anim sbb die nk guna(xberkaki la aku skang ni pendek katanye).pstu nk blk ke melaka mlm tu ngn member aku.tetiba nk dijadikn cerita ktrg xcident.b4 masuk highway lg.ngn keta mpv mazda.cantik drivernye.baik hati plak tu.so nothing hapen la basically.cuma keta la kemek sana sini.lps tu pegi balai polis la nk wat report.klu repot leh claim insurans namanye.dugaan btol mlm tu.lps siap repot dh kul 1030.nk blk ngn bas sah2 la xde tiket kn.member aku tu dh runsim dh sbb die mmg xsuke ponteng2 kls nih.tup2 ade pakcik ofer naik keta die.kate member aku sie suh byr harga duit minyak je.setibanye di melaka die mntk rm30 seorg plak.dgn skt kepala mcm nk pecah n kepenatan yg xde sape leh byg tu aku mls nk argue.
erm..in short..dh 2 kali aku turun naik balai dlm masa 2 mgu ni.huh.ape ke nasib la..tp alhamdulillah la nothing hapen kn.sesaje Tuhan nk uji..(mula la terpk aku sabar x mlm tu??)

smlm aku dh beli tiket nk blk umah cuti awal muharam ni.anim nk nikah.nikah gantung je.majlisnye kemudian2.tp bunyi katanye mcm besar jgk sbb pihak lelaki cam nk dtg beramai2 je.ntahla biarla ape2 pon muga2 sume slmt.

haa..berita utk sume kt luar sana yg masih blom berurusan ngn aku..eumora aku sdg selling fast ni..klu lmbt rugi la..hehe..

~eumora~

haa itu adlh nama produk yg aku tgh jual skang..sejenis sabun..utk kecantikan kulit esp kulit muka la..
tp seeloknye leh digunakn utk seluruh bdn utk hasil yg xkn mengecewakn..cewahh..terasa cam nk buat iklan plak..so klu sape2 nk tau lebih lnjut or yg berminat nk beli leh terus consult aku ye..

lama gile aku blk cuti raya haji..pg ni br smpi dr kg..huhu sgtla puas hati.siap ber'bbq' kt dpn umah.best tersgt.ckp psl tu rs cam nk blk lg huhu..melampau2.
blk umah ari tu satu kali lg kes berbangkit diusulkn oleh ma aku.psl aku blom ade pkwe.siusly sblm ni aku xpenah rs pape pon psl tu.biase je.best je idup aku sorg2 gni.tp ma menyuarakn plak isu ni..dicomparekn plak ngn adik aku yg umur 19thn tu yg ramai tersgt peminatnyesmpi xtau nk pilih.huh nk wat cane dh anak die yg no 3 ni xde org nak..
itu la jgk jwpn aku kt ma.mls nk pk.(perlu ke pk??bukannye im in desperateneed of a guy pon)..
maka sejurus slps hal itu terus dibahas aku angkat kaki melangkah naik tangga ngn mlsnye..g main game kt atas..
lega..
huhu.xbaik plak rs tgal ma cam tu je.tp nk cane rs cam rimas memikirkn sume org tgk aku mcm andartu pdhl it's d thing dat i cudn't care less..aduhai apela nk jd.penat nk yakinkn sume org yg aku mmg xnk.aku nk bljr lg.ade setahun lg.lama tu.plus mmg xde org nak.haha.

lawak sguh idup..ma msti terpk2 sbb mmber2 skolah aku sorg demi sorg dtg umah bg kad undangn.huhu..

tahniah utk datul n faiz yg dh slmt mdirikn msjid..alhamdulillah..

at 3 am..

knape aku xtido lg time ni..kul 3 pagi..mata dh pedih..tp kepala xnk switch off..heran..teringt kt sumbody tp xleh nk buat ape..makin sakit bila buat xtau..tp klu buat tau pon bukannye hilang sakit tu..
dh 7 minggu xnmpk die..lama tu..mgkn die dh lupakan aku.eh silap.pasti die dh lupakan aku..hurm tp bila aku nk terlupa psl die ek???
waaa xpenah terjadi dlm sejarah hidup bayani..catat rekod ni.
penatla.kdg2 sedih pon ade.bercampur baur.klu kt umah best jgk.bila jd camni leh suh adik tlg nyanyikn lagu nur kasih hihi ataupon lg jangan nakal..(best sgt adik nyanyi).leh distract mind sesaat dua..

aku btol2 sedih n penat..ingtkn dia..

~cantiknye ciptaan Tuhan~

dr smlm lg aku nk menaip..tp lptp buat hal la plak.seb baik abah ckp blk ni blk tukar lptp..berbunga hati aku huhu..buat ms skang tpaksa la aku guna desktop kt com lab ni..tp best sbb laju huhu..ade aircond plak tu..

smlm aku blk dr muar smpi sini kul 145 tgh hari lebih kurg pastu turun je dr bas dgn mata ptosis sbb br bgn tido tu,terasa 1 instinct utk utrn to my left side..terus aku nmpk sorg makhluk ciptaan Tuhan in white..antiknye..(hensemnye)..seraya teringt aku puase so terus tukar ape yg ade dlm hati jd 'masyaAllah indahnye makhluk ciptaan Tuhan'..
dh lama aku suke ngn ciptaan Tuhan tu..agak lama.setiap kali tgk dia bagaikn jatuh cinta berkali2..even dh tau mmg jauh panggang dr api utk aku dekati die tp stil aku suke kt die..pelik sguh..
knape la manusia slalu nk bnda yg die xkn dpt??xsdr2 lg ke?
tp mn leh tipu perasaan sndri kn..

tp bukan slh aku jgk..ciptaan Tuhan tu terlalu indah di mata aku..smpi kn aku rs cam nk freeze kn die n frame kn..supaya die kekal indah begitu..

sius aku suke die..dr dulu smpi skang..sius sesius siusnye..

~stress melampau~

dulu aku ingt aku manusia paling kebal..xkn terjejas walau ditiup taufan.tp ari ni aku tau aku cume manusia biase yg fragile gile..

ari ni i had a bad session ngn dr rahim.yg dikabarkn sgt baik oleh sume previous batches.nmpk gayanye it does not apply d same for me.xtau nape sgt cpt terasa.at d beginning aku ok lg.kepala dh pening.teruskn jgk..den towards d end finish examination rs cam nk scream i cannot take it anymore!!!!!!ini baru ditiup oleh dr rahim klu taufan dtg xtau la..

den there goes my day la..rs dh sgt blank..sgt sedih ngn diri sndri yg xde pkataan yg lg sesuai utk men'describe'kn diri aku time tu kecuali 'bodoh'..xde polite words dh yg leh gnti word yg sgt rude itu..terima jela..mmg itu pon yg terjadi td.i am so much affected in n out dat i oso skip my lunch(which is xpenah dibuat oleh bayani).

pastu terbyg2la p2s1 dpn mata..rs cam sgt2 xredy lg klu mcm ni..xtau pape.huh.makin la stress.xsgka lak aku stress smpi gini.nk senyum pon dh xde hati apatah lg bergelak ketawa.bila dh jd mcm ni startla homesick.sius nk blk umah.
nk kol ma tkt nangis plak by d time dgr suara ma.buat bazir kedit je klu gtu kn.huh sius dh at a dead end mmg xleh buat ape n xtau nk buat ape n klu tau pon mmg xnk buat pape.(mcm kritikal je bunyi)..

p/s: bak kate gurp muka pon dh merah time present td..berusaha to freeze my lacrimal duct..

~ujung minggu~

aku br blk mkn..kuar kul 830 td..skang dh pukul 1145..(lama gile mkn haha)..xla..g jonker jln2 ngn razmi ngn farid..
aku suke g jonker street..xtau knape..sbb die byk brg kot.bukan aku beli pon.cume suke tgk.byk kali jgk la aku pegi sana.n byk jgk dh brg yg aku beli kt sana-beg,sliper,anting2,gelang,n stuff..

td g mkn kt opposite hosp putra.ade gerai kt situ.best.mkn chicken chop.ari tu dh penah pegi sana ngn kak elis.tp ms tu gerai yg jual western tu tutup..ari ni dpt jgk ktrg mkn..besar gile ayam die i tell u..sah2 la aku xabes kn.(seb baek farid yg abeskn haha)..
time tgh mkn tu khairun msg.die nmpk sorg mamat naik motor atas highway kt kluang pki jersi kls aku yg kaler itam tu written 'bayani' at d back..what??!!!biar btol..tkejut gile aku.khairun ingtkn jali..(klu jali bapak terharu gile aku)..tp seingt aku xdela plak aku bg jersi tu kt die.tp at d same time dat jersey is really not with me rite now!!!(and as i remember for quite some time alredy)..
wahh mmg seram n sangsi..abaikn..

erm aku dh setelkn tiket blk aku..kire nyer dh kompem aku blk merdeka ni plus blk raya nnti..huh..mmg gamble.aku akn cuba usaha dulu studi kaw2 punye mcm yg xpenah dibuat oleh bayani sebelum ni..blk umah raya sambil tenangkn hati di sisi my family(i need strength from 'em)..pastu tawakal la..semoga nasib menyebelahi aku insyaAllah..

::minggu ni kak elis n kak aima blk umah..tgal aku sorg2(eh ade tetamu xingt hihi)..seb baek ade razmi,jul and farid yg sudi menemani my weekend hihi terharu skali lg..::

~aku n mereka~

aku br blk lunch..ngn jijul nora n kishen..super duper full..dh lama xmenaip sbb xde bnda nk ditaip..aku tgh tgk blog azamhashim nih..buat aku rs gatal nk kawen haha(again..same prob..nk kawen ngn sape??!!)tp agak menarik la..huhu..

sedar xsedar dh dkt gile nk final..tkt melampau smpi dh naik ke kepala..tp mcm xde tindakan pon..huh..org lain berlari2 ke hosp..ade yg berlari2 ke library menggalas beg yg sarat ngn buku2..dihias plak ngn riak wajah stress yg xde sape leh bayangkn..hurm..aku pon berlari2 jgk..tp destinasi xsama..
berlari2 g beli tiket nk blk umah..
berlari2 g mkn..
berlari2 g tepon ma,anim n kak diah..
berlari2 nk tido..

bezanye aku n mereka..

smlm aku tgk cite seducing mr perfect utk kali ke berapa entah..tp xingt pon cite die cemane sbb dh lama tgk..so kire cam 1st time tgk jgk la..best..gile terbuai..kdg2 org laki tu xtau yg sbnrnye die dh mula syg kite..n trust me true love yg kuimpikan benar2 wujud..juz a matter of time..

~ape mau buat..~

ari ni aku ngn kak elis msk for dinner..hasilnye..
sup ayam
sayur goreng berempah tomyam
telor dadar
huhu simple bukan??tp i gerenti musti mjilat jari punye la(sbb ktrg mmg tgh lpr haha)..

ade bnda utk diluahkn..xtau sama ade patut atau tidak..kias2an la yer..mntk2 xde sape2 terasa..kite mntk maap awal2 la klu terasa jgk..

klu ex anda mengejas teman baik anda..(sekurg2nye anda menganggap die sbg teman baik)..ape mau buat???how to react??
sebetolnye tidak ade lgsg even secebis perasaan yg dinamakn cemburu itu..tetapi dirasakn tindakan itu sedikit xpatut..
atau mungkin aku yg slh??ntah..kompius..
sebetolnye jgk aku mmg xmau lg amik kesah..walau ape pon yg die nk buat..dr dulu lg aku ckp aku sntiase doakn sume org bahagia ngn hidup n tindakan masing2 termasukla die..

hurm..hidup2..ssh nk predict ape yg jd..biarlah..aku tumpang bahagia..

mkn lg bagus kn..mari2..bismillah..

~sesi mntk maap~

xsmpi sebulan pon lg dh nk puasa...org ckp nk hadapi puasa ni elok klu kite sucikn diri..sebersih yg boley..slh 1 caranye ngn mntk maap..

aku br tau rupenye bukan aku sorg yg tidak dijemput ke mjls tempoh hari..mungkin adlh disbbkn ketidaksengajaan pihak penganjur atau pon sebaliknye..tulisan aku smlm mmg berdsrkn perasaan hati yg tgh xstabil...so hrp pihak penganjur maafkn la ketidakpatutan tindakan ku..mntk maaf ek..sy jnji xbuat lg..

tp aku br dpt markah utk surgery ari tu..sgt la rendah even lulus..org ckp bdk medic mmg nk lulus je kn tp bila dh dpt sgt rendah tu agak terkejut jgk sedikit sebanyak..kerana dlm hati berbisik 'aku rs cam dh buat lg elok drpd ape yg ter reflect dgn markah tu'..xptt kn..bersyukur la ngn ape yg kite dpt..segala yg kurg tu sbb diri sndri jgk..ade la lack nye kt mane2..so jgn rebel n usaha lg!!!chaiyok!!!
mntk maaf kt Allah pon pntg jgk..ampunkn hambamu ini yaAllah..sesungguhnye aku insan yg hina yg xsempurna..

dh luahkn ape yg nk diluahkn ni..mari la kite sucikn dlmn plak..bismillah..

eh xingt..alem dtg melaka ari ni..jln2 tgk member die kt sini..td am ajak kuar dinner sesama..tp mlgnye aku br je blk dr dinner..xpela..maybe next time..buat alem:enjoy ur stay!!!

~too many things~

aku tgh rush..nk tulis sume bnda yg aku rs nk tulis..tersgt byk tp kena tulis cpt2 tkt lptp aku off sndri b4 smpt save..haa itu 1 bnda yg aku nk ckp..lptp aku buat hal..yg mega punye..smpi aku pon dh ter'mega' tensen dh ni..die asyik off sdnri..dh pegi repair n byr rm50 for nothing..huh..

smlm hari aku keterkilanan teramat..hihi..rupenye aku sorg je yg x dijemput ke party bbq kt umah afie..so tgal la aku kebosanan keseorgn keterkilanan di rumah..gitu la..tp aku dh xingt pon..ntah la..rs mcm lonely..dulu rs serabut sgt smpikn nk sgt dok sorg2..tp skang rs sedih sbb ditinggalkn keseorgn..ish manusia xpenah syukur ngn ape yg die ade kn..nauzubillah..

ari tu aku blk umah..cuti 4 ari haha..sgt best ms yg di spend di rumah..td baru siap ckp ngn ma..rs mcm aku hanye ade famili aku je skang..maybe slps insiden smlm kot..rs mcm kwn pon dh xde..ape la manusia tnpa kwn kn??org ckp kite xkn dpt kwn yg baek jika kite xmenjadi seorg kwn yg baek..maybe xcukup lg ape yg aku lakukn slama ni utk kwn2 aku kot..ok i'll try to improve..

ok la xsmpt dh nk luahkn kesedihan yg mencengkam setiap pelusuk hati nih..kena off skang b4 die off sndri..huhu..sadis sguh hidup..

~cemburu~

aku nk kongsi 1 info..mind u byk info kt sini adlh drpd teori yg aku buat sndri..
mula2 kite tgk dulu ape definiton die..jealous means..

Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, such as a relationship, friendship, or love.---->ini wiki yg ckp..

ade lg..

Jealousy differs from envy in that jealousy is about something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy refers to something one does not have and either wants to acquire or to prevent another from acquiring.

ape sbb2 seseorg tu rs jeles??

#bila dat sumone or sumtin die yg punye..contohnye boypren die or gurlpren die rapat or mesra ngn org len..sah2 la jeles kn..

#bila die dh rapat ngn org tu buat sekian lamanye n suddenly org tu baik ngn org len plak..logik ke jeles sbb ni??tp ade org camni k..aku tau..

#n yg ketiga bila org tu dh luahkn perasaan dkt die n die menolak n tetiba org tu baik ngn org len plak dlm gap ms yg xbyk beza..pdhl sblm ni org tu baik ngn sape2 die xkesah pon..haa ini yg plg xleh blah..jeles utk bnda yg bukan die punye..

mind u skali lg..n3 kali ni xde kaitan ngn sape2..tetiba rs cam terpk psl ni..aku rs sume org maybe dh rs slh satu drpn 3 keadaan di atas(atau mungkin ketiga2 skali..who knows?..)
org selalu ckp cemburu tu tanda syg..btol ke??most of d time ye kot..tp itu juga indicates simple 'afraid of losing..even without syg..'(is it?..)

hurm perasaan manusia sgtla complicated..kdg2 kite la org yg plg xphm ngn diri kite sndri kn kn..sbg manusia yg dikurniakn akal fikiran n perasaan kite ade hak utk berperasaan cemburu tp dlm ms yg sama it has to be well-controlled supaya kite x rosakkn hari org lain ngn perasaan kite yg kdg kala..erm inappropriate i wud say..

::renung2kn n selamat beramal huhu::

~another born-day~

tanggal 11july 1985 seorang bayi perempuan yg xbape comel telah dilahirkn n diberi nama siti norazalis..dan ari ni cukup 24thn suda die bernafas di muka bumi ini..maka aku yg ditakdirkn mengenalinye 'terpaksala' mengucapkn slmt hari lahir buat kak elis yg agak tersayang haha..

sempena ngn hari yg cukup bermakna buat die ni aku telah mengajak mereka semua utk memaknakn lagi hari ini dgn being away from d house haha..ktrg g jln2 kt dtrn dr kul 3 ptg smpi la kul 11mlm(apakah??aku pon ssh nk pecaya..agak melampau bukan??)maka hadiah utk kak elis adlh masa yg kukorbankn ini hahaha(pdhl xtau nk beli hadiah ape)..erm byk sguh brg yg dicekup..semoga sume org puas hati..gud day i wud say hehe..

aku n kak elis

kami

again happy burfday dear..may all d gud things dat u wish for be yours..love u..

~im done!!!~

hehehehe..bahagia dh..
slps beberapa hari ati asik runsing n rs cam nk bunuh org jek..
ari ni ari last surgery posting..huh rs cam posting ni xdela teruk sgt tp bila dh abes rs cam dh buang 1 beban yg sgt besar..erm hopefully lps ni belayar ngn smooth la..

ari tu aku gaduh ngn member aku..xdela gaduh segaduh2nye tp berselisih phm..ntahla aku rs tertekan n tensen bile org mhrpkn yg lebih dr sebuah persahabatan..bukan itu aje...mrh plak bila aku xnk..apakah??xke itu dikira xikhlas berkwn??tensen la..aku btol2 kecewa n terkilan ngn die..dh xnk kwn dh lps ni..juz leave me in my own world..i seriously dun want to b involved wif u nmore in any circustances dat cud be..enuf is enuf..im moving on..n u hv no damn right at all to stop me!!!!(kegeraman memuncak)..
tp aku xberdendam pon..kire abes di sini la..semoga die bahagia ngn sikap n perangai die..n semoga ade org yg btol2 ikhlas leh terima siapa die..

aku sbnrnye nk blk mgu ni..dh rncg ngn kdiah n anim..tetiba dek kerana kebongokan sndri nama aku adlh antara nama2 yg dipaksa utk attend xtra class dis saturday..aduhai..rs mcm dugaan besar utk aku..sedih tersgt yg xde sape leh byg..tp skang dh leh terima la..insyaAllah klu diizinkn Tuhan aku blk mgu dpn..ameen..

ape nk buat ek mlm ni..cam bosan je..teringin nk g pantai..sape nk temankn??!!

~penat lg~

lps asar td aku nora n kak elis pegi ke hosp Pantai opposite to King's hotel utk melawat akram(ayoh) yg diadmit smlm sbb high fever..sbnrnye disuspek denggi sbb platelet count rendah tp td die ckp doc dh rule out denggi..most probably due to viral fever..erm ape2 pon ms aku tgalkn die td dh nmpk a lot better..(maybe sbb aku yg pegi melawat kot haha)..tau kt marie ni mampos aku..semoga ayoh cpt sembuh ye..(anok sntiasa doakn huhu)
haa td dkt entrance hosp tu ktrg kena tembak ngn termometer 'gun' huhu..utk screening H1N1..sape yg free from any fever je leh masuk dlm hihi cam menarik plak..

erm lps tu baru la ktrg betolak ke MYDIN..dh dkt kul 6 dh ms tu..seb baek weekday so xramai org..kak elis kate klu weekend sgt penuh..sedikit info psl mydin baru nih..lokasi die dekat gerbang MITC..lalu situ terus nmpk..agak besar..tp bentuk die sius berkotak..xde architecture lgsg huhu..nama die 'pasar raya besar mydin'..huhu cool..aku suke tmpt die..sbb parking xyah byr..n simply sbb die besar..so suke la window shoping..tp td dh xjadi window shopin dh..byk sgt dh beli nih..brg kecik2 xnmpk pon..tp duit dh byk abes tu pon rs mcm ade lg brg yg nk dibeli...nnti lenkali klu cari bayani xjmpe mksdnye kt mydin baru la tu haha..

eh xingt..td abu(arnab kak aima) mati..vet ckp possibility of food poisoning..sgt sedih..ntahla knape..sume binatang yg dipelihara di rumah ini xpnjg umur(kecuali ikan aku yg nmpk gayanye masih sihat walafiat)..wahai kay umah depan amik la arnab kamu yg kaler hitam ni..cuba try letak umah kamu plak..see if dat will bring any changes..huh dh xsgup meratapi kematian binatang2 yg sudah dear to us nih..

ok la nk g mndi n solt isyak..pastu try baca buku or tido la..sgt2 penat..

~pancet~

aku br blk swiming..tgk2 cite nur kasih dh abes..sedih xsmpt tgk..nnti nk tgk dkt tv3..its a must see series tau..meh nk cite wat hapen kt pool td..aku sbnrnye nk bljr ngn farah je tp tetiba ramai plak org kt sana antara org yg aku kenal ade wei hao,likiey n abg suhaimi..pastu since die nmpk aku br nk bljr so die yg amik alih tugas farah utk ngajar aku..'abg suhaimi pegang ek'..seriau bulu roma hahaha..tp xde pape la..sbb die mntk izin so aku conscious la..tp most of d time farah la yg ngajar..huhu tq farah..so far aku dh bljr breathing,kicking,n swim to d end using board hahhaa..floating masih ketakutan lg..so 'save dat for d next session' kate abg suhaimi..

huhu ati berbunga riang even pg td event xbape best jd..viva aku rs cam teruk je..pk sen tanye psl antibiotik in surgery..tanye aku 3 soklan yg 2 drpdnye die yg jwb..5min je..terus suh aku kuar..aduhai blk ngn mood berkecamuk..tp pd wktu yg sama namia online..he relieved my worry without he even trying to..'sumtimes u need to be at d bottom so dat u realize u have to be on top'..itu la yg die ckp..aku terus senyum n lupakan sume kegawatan perasaan time tuh..huhu tq namia..

erm ari tu aku g tgk cite drag me to hell..best jgk..aku suke..tp kdg2 rs cam scene die melampau sgt..its about how a girl's life changed due to a curse by a gipsy woman..best..nnti korg pegi la tgk..aku penat la..nk berehat..

~mlm jumaat~

tau2 la br lps buat ape kn..dh nama dh mlm jumaat..
erm mlm jumaat mgu ni rs mcm sayu je slps ter'muhasabah' diri..byk bnda yg buat aku rs sayu..
kes pertama:

ari tu aku jmpe 1 pt kt muar..die accident sebulan yg lps n paralyse from waist below for life..den developed sacral sore which has spread to become Fournier's gangrene..he is juz 24..sama 'muda' ngn aku..belanggar motor ngn member tmpt keje die..die mcm sgt x cooperative at first..dat's y nobody approach him..dr jauh muke die nmpk sedih..aku pegi approach die sbnrnye sbb xde kes lain..
'umur berape ye bang?'(pdhl aku dh tau umur die tgk dlm file)
'24'..
'owh silap bukan abg..sy pon 24..hehe'
he smiled..n turn his head towards me..
and dats how it went until i finish my history n examination..(plus his detail 'personal' history haha)..
i feel so relieved at d end of d session..never tout it's gonna feel so gud making people smile..i said to myself 'i really want to b a gud doctor who can brush away people's agony n tears n replace 'em wif a beatiful n soothing smile'..

kes kedua:
aku tgk cerita 3janda..ade sorg ni nama die intan(lisa surihani)..die mcm xsure la sape yg die suke antara a very romantic masculine handsome man(farid kamil) and a very biase but understandable caring man(azhar sulaiman) which definitely can make her laugh n laugh n fill d day wif juz happiness!!!!sgt sayu bila pk psl tu..aku rs ramai laki skang mcm farid kamil but i really hrp a guy like azhar sulaiman will show up soon in my life..xlogik utk rs sayu kn..huhu..

ape2 pon..kisah sayu di mlm jumaat harus dilupakan..so dat event pntg pg jumaat esok iaitu 'viva sdl' ngn prof pk sen..membaca sedikit!!

~burfday wishes~

29/06/09..hari ni burfday kak aima yg ke bape ek??xsure huhu tanye die sndri..aku xwish lg..so nk wish kt sini..

Because today's so special
it really wouldn't do,
to send one simple birthday wish
to last the whole year through...
So this wishes happy moments,
a day when dreams come true,
and a year that's filled with all the things
that mean the most to you.

have a happy burfday..

and a wonderful year..

hadiahnye..erm len kali ek kak aima..xtau nk beli ape..kire kongsi ngn jabbar je leh x??hahaha..

ape2 pon luv u n gud day!!!

~eventful week~

erm dh lama x menulis..byk dh bnda berlaku in d meantime..skang ni mak n ayah n adik kak elis ade kt umah..diorg dtg anta kak elis smlm..n ade sebuah viva hitam kt dpn umah..agak smart huhu kak elis punyer..
weekend yg lps aku blk umah an lg hehe niat sbnr nk pegi famili day petronas yg ade konsert faizal tahir haha sgtla tidak mengecewakn..hosted by 'jozan'..they were superb!!!penat gelak..slps konsert tu jatuh hati berkali2 ngn faizal tahir huhu..selain tu ade man kidal,ade ramli sarip n ade sheila OIAM..wat a nite...huhu..

inila antara gmbr faizal tahir menyanyi..

duit dh masuk..agak byk for dis month sbb plus ngn duit buku n perkakas..hepi..tp smlm pakwan btau diorg(d 1st 5 names) xdpt as much as we got..diorg dpt half je..ade la kesilpn teknikal di mane2 yg selalu terjadi dr dulu ngn MARA ni..sian diorg smpikn dh rs xbest dh..moga cpt disetelkn la..

aku plan nk blk umah 2 minggu lg..lps abes surgery..tp tiket xbeli lg..rindu sgt kt adik n sume org kt umah..haa ade bnda nk tulis sbnrnye..ttg berita2 yg mengejutkn berlaku these few days..


#kwn aku kt mrsm meninggal kt ukm akibat jatuh dr tingkat 4 asrama
#ida nerina jatuh dr tgkt 4 jgk n probably akn paralyse for life
#michael jackson meninggal due to cardiac arrest tp smpi skang blom dikebumikn sbb suspicion of d cause of death
#adik aku,syauqi dikejarkn ke emergency at 3 am due to multiple episodes of vomiting-xm finding revealed hypertension n frothy urine..next day evaluation shows BP drop to normal n condition stable..(ma diagnose acute gastroenteritis due to food poisoning)

erm xde dh kot..okla berehat sbntr..lps ni ade clinical skills on draping at 315..ngntk..

~sedih+happy~

aku br blk..kls abes kul 4..tp lpr sbb xlunch td..pegi mkn ngn nora,shydee n jijul..dkt pulau kelapa..best jgk byk bnda aku mkn..antaranye nasi goreng ayam,kuih sagu,tauhu sumbat n air teh o beng..
eop ku sudah dicompemkn..its gonna be dis coming wednesday..initially next monday but since next monday is a holiday for johor so it is preponed..fuhh dulu rs cam lewat sgt..skang rs cam mak aii dekatnye..hurm ape2 pon face it je la..tawakkaltu ala allah..semoga dimudahkn segalanye nnti..
sbnrnye aku rs cam xde mood ari ni..ade sumtin yg too big too shocking telah terjadi n im still trying to wash my mind from d memory juz now..tp syg skali xleh cerita kt cni..dikhuatiri dibaca oleh org2 yg berkaitan..haa aku tau..meh aku cite about my weekend ari tuh hehe..

ari jumaat mlm---->my 1st swimming session ngeh3x..
sabtu pg smpi ptg----->bertandang ke umah pakcik razmi yg berada di midway btwn melaka n muar dgn niat utama utk melahap durian huhu..rezeki bertambah ade jgk manggis yg sgt best..aku mkn smpi xingt dunia..slow tp byk haha..sgt puas hati..
sabtu mlm------->celeb bday kfid di tomyam klasik..mknn yg sgt best di majlis yg sgt grand gtu haha..mlm tu tgk konsert inspirasi tv3..rs menyesal xpegi dtrn merdeka mlm tu huhu
ahad pg n ptg------>weekend chores..lps tu g shoping ngn kak elis dkt tesco..mkn kfc..
ahad mlm----->buat repot smbil tgk mentor kt tv3 n ghost kt 8tv..

waahhh sgt full jadual ku huhu..
hasilnye...1)tido lewat mlm smlm sbb xsiap repot..
2)dompet kering habes shoping haaha
3)tp plus point is hati bahagia sbb leh mkn durian dgn byknyen enjoy shoping sbb
dh lama xspend duit huhu

erm xingt nk cerita ari ahad tu aku msg abah wish hepi father's day yg berbunyi 'hepifather's day abah..luv u so much muah muah'..pastu die reply 'ok..tq very much..' ..hatiku berbunga riang..

~post-BINJAI syndrome~

binjai tu adlh sejenis buah..td kak elis beli sebijik dkt psr mlm desa baru..sebiji rm2..sius ly bila terpk psl binjai aku jd terpk aku ni org mesia ke x??sbbnye aku xpenah dgr n xpenah tgk pon buah yg nama die binjai..die ade 2 jenis..manis n masam..yg ktrg beli td yg msm nye..
ktrg mkn cecah ngn kicap+garam..lps aku try waahh best rupenye..tp sgtla msm..Tuhan je yg tahu..aku suke la..
lps mkn tu..lidah aku keep touching my lelangit..rs sgt irritated..gigi ni dh terlekat ngn urat2 binjai..lidah rs coaty..apakah ini..berkuasanye buah binjai yg buruk di appearance tp masam gle di dlm!!!!





ok la..kami nk g swimming..aku nk g gosok gigi n gosok lidah n plus some listerine!!!hope leh neutral blk..

~shameless~

aku br blk kls..kls dh lm abes sbnrnye..pg ni kt kampus je radiology class ngn veena..tajuk die 'barium studies'..sejak smlm aku demotivated..nmpk gayanye ari ni prolong lg la status tu..
kls start ngn kdtgn shydee yg lmbt..veena ganti bismillah dgn 'there is no limit to the shameless in dis class rite'..berdesing telinga aku dgr..tp i looked down n diam je..
pastu die tanye nora..'what r d types of barium studies??..dr dat point aku dh tau 'bad day'..
den die tanye aku how to prepare d pt for barium..aku jwb nil by mouth..
den she started bombing me wif questions dat she noe i wont be able to answer like :

how many hours b4 procedure pt need to fast??2d?3d?
is it only solid or fluid also?
how to advise d pt?
wat medication shud b given next?

i raised d white flag...

den she cont on asking d others..silent..she said i doubt any of u hv ever read b4 coming for dis class..den she teach everything in juz 2 or 3 breaths n finish d class..she must be very disappointed wif us..hurmm..xleh nk buat ape..aku mmg xbaca..pemalasnye skang..rs cam kena sumpahan..
repot xsiap lg..isnin ni kena anta 8 kes..i only ade 6 skang..ntahla mcm mane..aku btol2 xde tenaga..td dh buat 1 tindakan yg slh ngn minum susu strawbery..mcm ade symptom lactose intolerance la plak..aduhai..ape nk jd nih..

hepi burfday kfid..xsmpt nk wish..semoga hepi slalu jgn jd mls cam aku huhu..

as a response on jelita'entry--->AYAH

br siap mndi..terasa sedikit fresh..melayani ptgku yg xde kls ngn tido n merehatkn diri spt biase..den br tbkk blog jelita..ade entry menarik rupenye..
aku pon byk kali dgr org ckp `slmt hari bapa' tp xtau exactly date die..(my reason for not wishing my abah)..

ari jumaat ari tu aku sort of gaduh ngn abah..puncanye aku drive ke kl alone n xbtau abah..mlm tu bila dh smpi umah anim aku msg him..den die kol aku xdgr coz we went out for dinner..xterpk pon ape terjadi kt umah..den bile blk tu around 1030 nmpk la byk miskol..pastu kol him terus dpt maki hamun(mcm kasar je ayat nih)..tp mmg begitu la..aku cam terkejut smpi xphm pon ape abah ckp..fikiran dh melayang tmpt lain kaki cam dh xterpijak mata dh bergenang airnye..

itu la bnda yg slalu jadi bila abah marah..abah mmg garang..suke mrh2..xleh slh sket msti ngamuk..tp dh lama abah xngamuk..in fact aku slalu ckp abah sgt baik sejak akhir2 ni..maybe sbb dulu ktrg slalu giv him a headache kot..

so masa die mrh2 aku mlm tu aku cam terfikir.."abah i tout u changed"..siusly aku sgt kecewa..lps tu aku ckp.."abah dhla tu..dh slmt smpi..xde pape dh.."
mlm tu aku nanges sorg2 smpi teresak2..sgt sayu rsnye..aku sgtla xleh bile ditengking..rs sgt sengsara..

surprisingly..esoknye aku teringt kata2 abah "org ni riso kn die..die tu tau 'galok' je"..pk2 blk slhnye aku..if only aku btau dulu b4 btolak..or juz grab sumbody to teman me..this things wudn't hv hapen kn..ok..aku menyesal n tau aku mmg bersalah..nk mntk maaf tp mcm dats not me je mntk maaf ngn abah ni..so aku biar je dulu..
smlm aku kol him but he didn't pick up..30 min later die kol blk..rupenye td tgh meeting..die kt tganu baru smpi katenye ade kursus..suara abah time tu cam hepi je..den abah said"ingtkn dh xnk ckp ngn abah.."..hehehhe..hatiku berbunga..tp aku terharu..i want to say it out loud..SAYANG ABAH!!!!!!!!!

ya Allah..pnjgkn la umur abahku..bahagiaknla die slalu..berkatila idupnye..kerana aku anaknye will do ntin only for his smile..slmt hari bapa abah..
(mntg2 abah xlogik akn bc bnda ni jiwang thp melampau huhu)

~sedih without sign~

sy rs sgt xsedap hati seketika tadi..skang baru sy tau kenapa hati ini xmau tenang..menyesal dgn tingkah laku diri sndri..tp mcm dh xleh buat ape..erm manusia mmg mcm tu kn..asyik buat keputusan yg slh den menyesal..bengangnye ngn diri sndri!!!

nk cerita tp xleh..too personal..muga2 cptla tenang hati..

xjadi la tulis blog..btol2 xsdp hati n xde mood nk menaip..

~epigastric fullness~

aku n sekeluarga(kak aima n kak elis) br blk dr our dinner kt giant..specifically uncle john kopitiam..i had mee siam n red coffee..d latter xbape sdp..erm tp nmpknye xsume org in a gud mood ari ni..ade seorg dr ahli keluarga ku yg ade prob sket..
semoga Allah mudahkn urusan kamu ye teman..n diselesaikn segala mslh insyaAllah..

skang ni ade cite suria kasandra di tv3 yg dibintangi oleh jehan miskin n heroin yg aku xtau nama die haha..aku bukan tgk sgt pon..tp tiap kali aku tgk aku rs best jgk cite ni..(aku kn jiwang haha)..terharu dgn seorg lelaki yg begitu menyayangi seorg perempuan..die ckp.."yg terpisah hanye jasad..bukan hati kite.."...waaa sedihhh haha sah jiwang..terfikir sebentar..agungnye sebuah cinta..alangkah manisnye jika agungnye sebuah cinta itu utk Dia yg satu..

i shud be studying rite now instead of dok menagrut dpn laptop..erm toshiba aku mcm dh xbape nk idup lama sedih jgk..tp dh dekat 3 thn dh umur die..boley kate logik jgk kot klu die nk buat perangai..skang ni mhrpkn bantuan dell..tp nnti kena pulangkn blk sbb dell ni kdiah yg guna..dowhhh bagaimane lps nih??huh..manusia xpenah lps dr mslh kn..tp bila lg difikirkn mslh tu akan jd lg besar..so biar je la..mntk2 ade la penyelesaiannye..
knape aku mcm baik je ari ni..nginsaf kjp kot haha..

sinar oh sinar..dtgla hihihi..

~weekend TERHEBAT~

hehehhe...dimulakan dgn senyuman..aku br siap ngaji(alhamdulillah)..smbil mengingati semula hujung mgu ku yg sgt menarik smpi xterkata..huhu..

ktrg bertolak pukul 830..smpi umah c'ah lebih kurg 1130 gtu..aku yg drive..1st time menjejakkn diri di sebuah negeri bernama perak..smpi tu terus mkn..sume org tgh bz so xperasan pon ktrg smpi haha..mkn punye la byk..kenduri tu agak menarik..ade DJ yg berpantun haha..n pengantin yg lawa..aku xmelepaskn peluang amik berkat bergmbr ngn pengantin di pelamin yg sgtla meriah..ngeh3x..

esoknye btolak ke cameron kul 945 klu xslh aku..plus adik c'ah(no'on namanye)..die mbwakan watak seorg penunjuk jalan n cameragirl huhu..jalan die sgtla nauseated..dh skt blkg aku memulas stereng kiri ke kanan..tp scenery nye sgtla lawa..masyaAllah...

byk jgk aku mbeli..n semestinye byk jgk la duit yg lesap diterbangkn angin cameron yg xbape sejuk tu..gmbr xde lg la..xleh nk upload..tp yg pstinye we had a very very very great moment!!!!

thanx to family c'ah yg sudi menerima kunjungn ku yg aku kira hanye la menyusahkn n mhabeskn beras ajo..haha..tp mak c'ah kate.."ish mn ade la..dtg la lg len kali.." haha ok2 i surely will!!!!d soonest pon bulan 12 nnti kn c'ah kn hahhaa..

erm td razmi dtg bg telor n buah durian dr dusun pakciknye..melahap jom!!!(plus ade mee goreng yg br siap kami-aku n kak elis goreng...bismillah...

~hindustan dimataku~

smlm aku tgk cite hindustan kt channel ABO tajuk die "Victory"..aku xkenal pon pelakon die..pelakon baru..its about a cricket player of national team (india) which has ruin his own future in d sport wen he involved in a bribe..after some time he realized his wrong-doing
and starts changing in order to pursue his dream in cricket..

its a simple and common story play but i dunno why dis things alwez happen wen it comes to hindi muvie..i get easily touched n inspired!!!siap dpt goosebumps lg..aduhai..

sbnrnye kn sjk dr kecil lg aku camtu..suke tgk hindustan..lyn gle lagu2 die..tmbh2yg sedih tu..rs mcm menusuk ke hati la org ckp..even aku bukan phm pon..smpi kn a fren of mine penah ckp "suke sgt tgk hindustan..sesuai benorla dpt g bljr india..jgn kawen ngn org india sudah.."
mak aii..nauzubillah..hahaha..

kak elis n kak aima nk blk kl ptg nnti..tgal la me all alone..tomorrow morning aku,kfid, and c'ah insyaAllah akn btolak ke umah c'ah die perak..n plannye nk g cameron on sunday..hopefully xde aral melintang la..

erm aku br siap tepon ma..diorg sume ade dlm keta on d way ke kl..nk anta kdiah ke klia..kdiah n anim nk g ireland jmpe along..flight mereka kul 9pg esok..bestnye..tp aku nk jeles pon cam xlogik sbb mmg aku xleh g pon..bukan ade cuti pon..erm xpela ade rezki nnti aku pegi la..leh bwk ma skali hihi..semoga Allah lindungi mereka..insyaAllah..(n bwk blk byk hadiah utk aku!!!!hehe)

~complexnye perasaan seorg manusia~

seorg teman yg baru aku kenali wrote to me..about how he is damn serious about being single until its time wen he found sumbody n straight away marry her..terfikir sebentar..
adakah aku mbuatkn die rs dat im expecting sumtin from him which i neva terfikir pon b4 dis..ikhlasnye aku berkwn dgnnye hanya Allah yg tau..

sbnrnye its not dat easy to scrub away dis 1 person which is craved in my heart...not now..bukan dlm ms tdekat ni..erm pk psl perasaan ni buat kite jadi letih kn..

hendak membaca tp sgtla xde mood..knape kamu ruin my gud mood???ish..btol2 kena studi esok ade pbl ngn veena..

aku sgtla mencuba sedaya upaya utk tidak mpermainkn hati org around me..sgt hendak menjaga d way i talk d way i mix up wif them..

aku mntk maaf..xberniat nk mainkn perasaan kamu..thanx sbb sudi lupakan sumenye..

~kezaliman pakcik bas n kemalangan nasibku~

aku br smpi dr klntn pukul 915 pg td..menyebabkn aku skip kls pg..nk tau ape yg tjadi??klu xnk tau pon aku nk cite jgk..tepat pukul 5 pagi waktu malaysia bas yg kunaiki iaitu bas budaya trip A pasir puteh-melaka telah mengalami 1 kemalangn yg sgt dahsyat..merempuh 9 ekor lembu yg sedang tido di tgh highway..5 drpd nye mati n 4 lagi cedera teruk seperti patah kaki n sebagainye sehingga kn ustaz kg tu mengarahkn supaya diadakan penyembelihan emergency..
bas tu pon mengalami kecederaan yg xkurang teruknye..pecah bumper depan,lampu, n cermin tepi..di samping tu ade la secalit dua tahi lembu di cermin depan bas..lps tu pasukan RELA dtg mjlnkn siasatan..lps cek all d lembu yg terdampar..die masuk dlm bas n tanye if anybody injured..aku dgn smgtnye menjawab..'takde!!'..lps tu die tanye lg..'ade sape2 yg mengandung ke..ade mslh kesihatan ke..?'.....aku jgk yg mjwbnye..'takde tuan..'hahaha..semangat sbb xpenah ckp ngn RELA..erm lps tu bas tu xleh bergerak la sbb xde lmpu..so sume org terpaksa la menunggu hari cerah..
dijadikn cerita..tmpt kejadian tu opposite sebuah surau..tetiba azan subuh kedengaran..sume org terdiam..syahdu sgt..dgn angin sejuk yg bertiup smpi ke tulang..seperti dh lama xdgr azan subuh yg sgt clear..insaf sekejap..semoga org lain dlm bas tu pon sama..kami pon turun la mengerjakn solt subuh bersama2..
erm itu la pengalamn yg xdpt aku lupakan ngeh3x..tp disbbkn tu aku xsmpt pegi kls memandangkn kls aku kt muar..tp aku bhjt nk pegi kls ptg ni..ade tutorial tajuk
'varicose vein'..

abah baru call ngn risonye..jgn risau semua org..bayani slmt..alhamdulillah..

~1st wiken in surgery~

aku kepenatan..ketiadaan tenaga..1 week of surgery has used up all of my energy..pg td shud be got paeds class..n as planned i was happily sleeping while everybody dok dlm kls..seb baek dpt attendan..thanx to gurp..
td kuar lunch ngn jero n c'ah..jero ni bdk mrsm aku dulu..kt mrsm xpenah ckp pon..tp skang cam baik plak..itu la yg pelik psl frenship ni..once u start it br u noe how much u need a fren in ur life..ktrg mkn kt asam pedas(tmpt yg diperkenalkn oleh jijul)..bg aku sdp la..sbb xpedas sgt ngeh3x..
mlm smlm adlh my last nite kt a&e hosp muar..and at last i manage to do my 1st branula(masukkan jarum dlm vein utk msk ubat or normal saline) successfully..n God knows how overjoyed am i bcoz of dat..
smlm(22/5/09) adlh besday namia yg ke 25 klu xslh aku huhu..
erm ape lg yg jadi smlm ek??owh ma tepon aku sbb aku dh lama xkol die..tp ckp kejap je sbb aku kt dlm a&e time tu..
owh 21/5/09 ialah burfday hyuuga..aku dh wish die tru msg tp die xrep pon..xtau la die dpt ke x msg tu..
td jero ckp dh ramai kwn2 ktrg yg nk kawen n tunang..wen is my time??ntah la..am i actually thinking bout dat??naahhh..xmungkin la..

ini la rupa nye slps branula dimasukkan..

~ari penting~

smlm genap 23 thn sejak hari aku dilahirkn ke muka bumi..byk bnda jd dulu time ma ngndungkn aku..ma mmg mkn ocp(contraceptive pills)..xpenah tgal lps lahirkn anim aku..lps tu tetiba bila ma amenorrhea slm 2 bulan lebih ma pegi cek doktor..dan disahkn ma mengandung 2 bulan(aku la bayi di dlm perut itu)..so doktor tu ckp..
"bayi awk ni kemungkinan besar cacat sbbnye kesan drpd pill perancang yg awk mkn tu..so sy nasihatkn awk gugurkn je la..lg pon bayi ni br 2 bulan.."
ma n abah punye la tkejut bila dgr pkataan gugur tu..aku pon seriau bila ma cerita..den abah dgn tegasnye bkata.."xpayah la nk gugurkn..klu Tuhan nk buat die cacat nk buat cemana kite redha je la.."dan dgn itu la aku slmt dilahirkn..sadiskn??hampir2 digugurkn tuuu..

erm ari ahad yg lps iaitu 17hb diorg wat surprise for my besday dkt kfc..antara teman2 yg terlibat:
kak aima,kak elis,farid,razmi,jijul,rahim,lokman,oleen,c'ah,khairun,fiza,mail,pakwan,kak eza,akram,marie..
erm beribu2 penghargaan kpd teman2 semua..sgtla terharu!!!dan thanx jgk buat teman2 yg lain yg wish n ingt besday ku itu..

td aku kuar ngn member aku..die ade meeting kt tm ayer keroh..we went for a dinner kt ikan bakar..(sbb die teringin nk g umbai)..dh lama xjmpe die..agak lama la..rindu plak..rs cam byk bnda lg nk cerita2 tp xsmpt masa sbb die naik bas kul 10..esok die keje...nk aje aku suh die stay kt sini for a while..xpela..ade rezeki leh jmpe lg..
teringt kt puisi yg sedih..jom berjiwang:

so long..
long gone..
you n me..
listen to d sound of your breathing
staring at every part of u without u realize..
n closing my eyes upon ur smell..
i feel calm..
holding my hands tight
before they starts crawling onto you without noticing..
juz enjoying d moments spent with u..
hoping dat i cud hold u
feel ur breath touching my skin
like d gud old days..
maybe..
i still love you..

~bayani's life distress syndrome~

xde pape pon yg jd..but sumtimes at 1 point of time in our life we feel so distress..so much dat we show no emotion wen people are smiling n we even cry wen people are laughing!!!(too much rite??..)

smlm i finished my medicine posting by writing craps in my mcq n ospe papers..huh..life seems like 'never gonna change'..sejurus slps itu encik hyuuga bertandang ke melaka..lalu aku n c'ah pon kuar la to welcome him..he came wif his fren n his fren's family(i tell u its a big one haha)..mksd aku penuh la keta diorg..ktrg g mkn kt secret recipe mp n sightseeing kt a famosa n muzium kesultanan melayu melaka..(never noe dat those kind of places can be so interesting sumtimes..)skjp je..over d afternoon..say around 11 to 3..lps tu he need to go rush back to kl(biasela ikut org kn..)so he said he'll come back some other time and spend longer time wif us..

antara cite2 yg aku layan over d weekend ni---->

angels n demon
star trek
ghost(series kt 8tv)

starting from next monday i'll be torturing myself in d hands of surgery department for 2 months..n next week is my nite posting week(meaning i hv to stay back at muar hosp until 9pm)..tiring(sumtin which is most expected)..really hope i can survive well dis 2-hectic-month of surgery..wat every medical students of mmmc is afraid of..

rs mcm nk g pantai..breathe..and breathe..

~it's may~

bulan may..tiap thn pd bulan may aku akn alert sbb ramai sgt org yg aku knl burfday nye pd bulan may..yg plg ramai skali adlh mmber2 aku kt matrik penang dulu..sbbnye dkt matrik tu kami was grouped according to our birth date..so boleh kate sume org dlm praktikum aku tu gadis2 n jejaka2 may..dh lama xjmpe sume org..rindu plak..teringt zaman2 kt matrik yg penuh suke duke huhu..mcm mane la agaknye sume org skang..msti dh lain kn..
pastu in addition ade burfday naga,abg kipas,n namia(adakah ini suratan atau kebetulan haha)..

sbnrnye aku ade ward work ptg ni tp aku self-declared-leave huhu melarikn diri dr muar n naik bas tgh hari..smlm aku end posting medicine..did not went quite well im afraid..ntahla..its a simple case-hepatosplenomegaly(which i did diagnose) but i feel somewat disappointed wif my own performance for d short case..hurmm..esok ade osce n mcq..really hope i can cover up for yesterday's dumbness..
dis morning we had long case wif prof choo(very very very stimulating)..n short case wif dr chua(haha aku la yg spoil kn nama grup aku)..

ok la i better go n grab some books..

knape???

why do women cry??
why do women tend to do sumtin which 'll make 'em cry??
why do women alwez love sumone who does not love 'em??
why do women alwez put a hope in sumtin hopeless??
in the end..they juz cry..and cry..
why do women cry??
it is a weapon dat Allah has equipped each women with..
for 'em to use it whenever needed..
can i use it now??coz i really need it..

~smile never last forever~

i wonder why do i stay up until dis late at nite...is it only becoz of him??terasa buduh la plak..dh lama feel so stupid n dumb actually..but cannot help it..smpi bila pon xtau la..i hope cpt2 la aku grad tglkn dunia yg penuh pmainan emosi ni..hdpi real life n pndg ke hdpn..
kdg2 i realize dat there is some part of me yg still hoping for sumtin which is beyond possible..n i seriously hate dat part..

erm along dh blk ireland pg td..bulan 10 ni kot die blk lg..utk raya..tp xsure lg katanye..td i called mom..miss her..di saat2 ini..tp xsmpt ckp byk sbb abes kedit..dh topup tp xtepon blk sbb im sure she dh tido..

there is some saying that people who write are people who are lonely..am i??
xla..

ini rupenye kehidupan..

aku br abes tgk x-men origin wolverine..best jgk..
2 3 ari ni byk bnda jd..result diorg nye suplemen dh kuar..kak elis pass tp farid x..kesedihan tu cam sgt teruk smpikn sume org merasainye..tmasukla kami,teman2 farid,family die apatah lg,n family kak elis jgk..satu berita yg sgt mengejutkn n boleh kata sgt xlogik n xterfkir oleh sape2 pon..farid-seorg laki yg tinggi,sgt baik,n sgt pandai..tp mungkin rezeki xmenyebelahinye kali ni..tentunye ade hikmah di sebalik segalanye..

aku tgh chat ngn namia..gelak sorg2 di mlm yg sepi hehe..

membaca kata2mu..
membayangkn tawamu..
cukupla..
aku bahagia..

~alhamdulillah..selesai sudah..~

aku tgh melihat kembali gmbr2 time hari pertunangan along sabtu lalu..erm majlis yg xterlalu ringkas n xterlalu complex..adat2 tetap terjaga..sgt menarik memandangkn ni la kali pertama aku menyaksikan n also involved in such an event..
ramai jgk sanak sedara yg hadir pd hari itu..agak ketat la rumah ku yg xberapa besar tuh..tp alhamdulillah sume bnda bjln dgn lncar n semoga diberkati..
..moh kite tgk gmbr moh..

menunggu dgn debaran ngeh3x

ketibaan pihak lelaki

sesi rundingan

ibu asyarul memakaikn rantai

abah menyarungkn cincin

drpd pihak perempuan

drpd pihak lelaki

selesai acara

itu la bnda termanis yg terjadi dlm sejarah keluarga kami dlm masa tdekat ni..dijangkakan xlama lg ma n abah nk dpt menantu hehe..
ini yg terasa nk kawen jgk ni(gelenya plak)..sape nk volunteer??!!hehe

its holiday!!!!

aku tgh tgu taxi come n pick me up..kami mahu ke melaka sentral n naik bus ke klntn pd pukul 8 mlm nnti hehe sgt la bahagia terasa diriku ini..xsbr dh nk smpi umah..jmpe sume org kt umah..homesick sguh aku ni..
pd hari sabtu ini insyaAllah along ku akn melangsungkn pertunangnnye..part of d reason why aku blk..sume org excited tp along ketakutan n kekonfiusan..i guess everyone yg planning for future will feel d same way kot..hope xde pape jd la..erm utk pengetahuan sume beg aku amatla berat..tidak terkira..mcm mane ntah nk pikul nih..sah2 skt blkg..
erm ok la..itu je..nk tutup laptop dh ni..hepi holiday everybody!!enjoy!!!

apakah??apakah??!!

kepenatan keteramatan..wat a weekend...im so so thrilled..(we are huhu)..anim n along dh blk td..aku n kak elis pegi anta mereka di lcct..flight along blk kb kul 915 mlm..
antara xtvt ktrg- pegi naik muzium kapal(aku sgt suke sbb byr rm3 je n best jgk
naik menara taming sari(byr rm10 for nothing)
pegi spa buat facial(rm55 for 2 hours..how to say ek..i LOVE it huhu)
mkn ikan bakar kt umbai(anim yg teringin sgt ni..but we enjoyed our meal as we turn into monsters haha)
blk chalet tido...
esoknye..
mndi pantai di pagi hari..best gle..
pegi shopping dkt dtrn pahlwn n mahkota parade(agak penuh la tgn kami dgn brg2..n agak ringan la wallet masing2 slps itu haha)
pulang ke rumah ku utk bersihkn diri n terus btolak ke lcct pd pukul 530 lebih kurang

setibanye di lcct kami parking n turun utk mencari sesuap mknn..ramai jgk org di situ time tu n agak bingit rasanye..sdg mcari tmpt mkn tu tetiba kak elis ckp, 'ehhh...'.......lalu aku pon memandang ke arah yg sama..ternmpk 1 figure yg agak2 dlm 10meter jauhnye...i noe him..oh yes of coz i do..NAMIA..tetiba je i feel like the 'bingit' juz now has become silent..n at d same time my heart stops beating..almost 5 seconds..den i can hear my own heart beat..den d noise came back..
aku cam tsedar dr lamunan..terus lambai kt die and beredar(so dat my point of vision will not be fixed on him any longer)terus lps tu aku jd blur..mcm org bodoh je..xtau nk buat ape..

he is d one dat tore my heart apart..into pieces..until a point dat i cant bear it anymore..my heart is paining..so much..he is sumtin dat bayani cant get in her life..its been hurting myself too much since then dat i feel like opening my chest and stich it up,make some quick prayer n make it turn to normal..

wat do i feel now at dis moment------> dunno..i miss him..maybe...
do i love him?? ------> sudah gaharu cendana pula
do i want to forget him ------> been trying very hard..nobody can ever imagine
wat did u do to forget him ------> keep thinking about him every now n then hoping dat i'll get bored one day...(never hapen yet)
so wat r u planning to do now? ------> juz let it be..cant do nthin to make myself any better pon..

on no shoulder Allah put a burden dat she/he cannot bear..

i can still handle dis..make me strong plz dear Allah..ameen..

~feel sooo happy!!!~

baru siap solt isyak..baru tenang sket rasa..aku dh siapkn almost half of my clerkship diary(mcm buku report la yg kami kena completekn semasa medicine posting)..

tomoro is going to be my happy day(i hope) coz my along n anim(my 1st and 2nd sister) are going to come here to spend d weekend wif me!!!huhu wat else in d world cam make me super duper excited like dis..
td aku dh pegi book chalet..shah's beach resort..sgtla ramai org kat ctu..tp aku rs itu la chalet yg plg best i've ever been to..sgt di maintain kelawaan nye..
jadual utk esok..morning 830 aku kak elis n farid(senior aku jgk) akn pegi pick up my sisters kt lcct..lps tu mbawa haluan masing2..mereka hendak ke kl maka aku n kakak2 ku terus blk ke melaka so dat we can check in by2 pm..
aku dh basuh kereta n isi minyak td..ready for tomoro's journey..hehe..mntk2 sgt xde pape yg jadi..ameen..semoga percutian kami adik beradik ni diberkati Allah n dilindungi oleh-Nya..insyaAllah..
erm pg td aku g dental clinic kt poliklinik peringgit..utk filling kn my incisor..n d result is quite impressive..but the sensitivity(ngilu) persists till now..
aku dh pack kn my things utk dibawa esok..hehe semangat bukan?..

td iwe kol aku..die tu member aku kt mrsm jeli dulu..tp skang je la br jd mmbr..dulu slalu nmpk tp xpenah ckp pon..kami dr 2 dunia berbeza huhu..xde ckp psl pape pon..bnda2 mengarut..ckp2 gelak2..he really made my day..
erm i tink i shud stop now and get to sleep..supaya esok xbgn lmbt..

::thanx kak elis n farid sbb sudi menemani::

~ari yg penuh kekecewaan~

sepanjang mgu ni we are out of bounds from d hosp..so we gonna hv our class in d campus only..sadly things changed tetiba we need to go to tangkak hosp for thursday and friday morning session..(it is a 1 hr-journey from here)..td bljr ecg ngn sgt detailnye ngn dr bashir..he taught us kaw2 punye dat we may not need to refer to louis hampton anymore(ecg book)..quite tiring but relieving dat somehow at last i noe sumtin about how to read an ecg(slm ni rs cam bodoh je sume org leh baca aku tnganga je)..
erm pg td suz called me..asking me about causes of hematuria(blood in the urine)..he wanted me to list them out..last nite also we talked over the phone for almost half an hour i tink..nothing much..about things around him..and stuff like dat..wat i remembered most was "i juz want to tell u dat i still miss u"..erm i got stunned and speechless at d same time..did not answer anything..erm life can be so entangling sometimes..i asked myself..am i happy??or the opposite?i seriously dunno how to react..coz few days ago i checked out his frenster(as i alwez do)he got so many girls' name on his comment box..at d back of my mind i say"dis guy is definitely moving on.."but what i dun understand is why is he kept telling me those words if he actually thinking of some other thing..confusing..

i decided to not to think about it..

td naga msg me tru ym..he said he want to call me and ask for my favour..but cant think of any favour that i can do for him..erm..we'll see how la tonite..

mcm cerita matahari la plak..so many guys around me but none is mine hahaha..lawak2..td kak elis belikn mknn dr psr mlm..hungry kya??!!hehe..melahap jom..

~d heaviest but greatest weekend ever!!~

aku br siap tgk cite a man town..cite psl seorg lelaki yg sgt ego n xpenah tau psl how pathetic he is..his wife slept with his client and he was having so much problem in his work due to his 'hot-temper'..at the end of the story he started realizing about the things dat happened..are all his fault..den he get back with his wife..forgiving her and quit his job as well..starting a new life..best jgk..

erm kisah ari ni..aku n teman2 pegi ke hutan lipur gunung ledang pd pukul 9 pagi lebih kurang..antara ahli2 rombongan-na,c'nat,akram,marie,am,afie,syam,iwa,jijul,rahim and aku..kami bertolak dgn menaiki 3 buah kereta..myvi,wira and kancil(promote buatan malaysia haha)..perjalann mengambil masa lebih kurg sejam stgh..d place was so nice and peaceful..we settled down in one of the area and start menyerang air terjun hehe..we brought so much food and drinks..(credits to jijul who had successfully prepared our breakfast-sandwich and our lunch-fried meehoon)..and i tell u d food was awesome..
lps zohor bertolak blk..agak penat tp sgtla best..dh lama x spend time together cam td..den bila aku blk kak elis dh smpi umah..parents die pon ade skali..
lets take a look at d pictures!!!

time baru smpi


bermandi manda..

nk blk dh ni(baju masih basah)

sket je gmbr yg ade..ini dr cam pakwan..selebihnye ade kt cam c'nat..
erm di bwh ni plak gmbr cowboy town smlm..